Source
r/OCPoetry•
_yellowlife_

Questions I Cannot Answer

What is life?

What is breath; what is air?

I see what I see

But am I really there?

​

What is sight?

How do I know it is mine?

The pain I hear, the pain I feel

I fear is real

But my pain is just a matter of time

​

What is pain?

How do I know how to feel?

The memories I’m cursed with

How do I know they’re real?

​

What is memory?

Whom does it serve?

It is a chronicle of my mind

But cannot be spoken, and hence not heard

​

What is my mind?

Why is my mind to myself unknown?

My thoughts fade, my mind grows.

But how can I tell it has grown?

​

What is thought?

Why do I think in English?

Yet given the right circumstances

My thoughts I can forcibly extinguish.

​

What is timing?

Why do things happen?

Is there a method to the madness

Or are no questions worth asking?

​

What is madness?

Can I be aware of my own?

I tell myself I’m in control

But how would I know?

​

What is control?

To whom does it belong?

Perhaps I live in an undetermined existence

Or a precomposed song?

​

What is existence?

Do I exist? Is this something to test?

I continue to live and walk my journey

Until I approach some unknown rest

​

My path will be forged by choices

Choices I must make myself

For I am the only one who can hear my thoughts

Yet do I truly know myself?

​

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Posted Sep 1, 2020, 11:16 PM UTC

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bluebird3214•

It's a good one. I like the idea of giving meaning to all of these things in your own way but I feel like some of them were forced, timing in particular. I don't think you need to specify too much on things as you already gave us an idea of what you were going for and what you wanted the readers to feel. It's a great start, just some more tweaking and it will be perfect.

Do take it with a grain of salt since i'm not an expert on these kind of stuffs.

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_yellowlife_OP•

Thanks so much for the feedback! Yeah I was struggling to find the right words towards the end; I don’t feel I’ve said what I wanted to get at.

If I can’t control the things that happen to me, then I can’t control my memories, which I indelibly impact my thought process, hence my choices, and ultimately my life. But the timing of things; sometimes things just “line up” (both for good and for terror, in my experience). What does this serve? Who’s pulling the strings? You can hold a rock, see a rainbow, taste spaghetti, and think “okay, this must all be real.” But there’s so much unknown that I can’t begin to comprehend!

Anywayyyyy 😊

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ntibbs58•

I like this poem! You dive deeper into questions with more questions. The rhyme scheme works well for the poem too; very creative! And with any existential question, it gets readers thinking.

I feel like the questions that begin each stanza don't all have to be "what is" questions. I don't know what those questions might be off hand, but the questioning of being gets a little repetitive. Consider questions like "what happens when we die?" or other things like that.

A very good read, though! Very nice style.

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ocdman27•

This is a good cascade of ideas stemming from a single question. Existentialism is certainly a slippery slope of questions. You use great word choice and have a well formulated system of poetry. The understanding that life can be interpreted as a series of questions and the existential feeling of life resting as a timid flame inside us all is a real feeling that I hope everyone can feel. Your comments on commitment and control are enlightening as well. I am interested if you share the philosophy of the notion that we are both the player and spectator in our lives. When reading this I thought of that belief. Overall, impressive poem and I hope you continue to write.

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_yellowlife_OP•

Thank you!

I’ve never heard of this notion yet, but if I understand it correctly, I think I agree with it.

I wrote this poem to try to understand my feelings; I was, until quite recently, in an abusive family situation. It makes you ask very weird questions. For instance: occasionally I find myself thinking “ahhhh, if only this particular event didn’t happen.” But that’s quite a slippery slope, because if that event didn’t happen it wouldn’t have impacted my thought process and I would almost be a different person.

A lot of these questions are coming from the wrestling I’m doing with religion. I was raised Catholic and participated extensively and intently as well as defended Catholicism to anyone who’d listen. Within the course of a few months, I let myself start asking and unraveling questions and then realized that I no longer am a Christian. This lead to me questioning a bunch of things that had been previously assumed: what if death is an the end of existence? is “free will” real?

I’m a mathematics student and I can’t help but being blown away by how complex of an “equation” life would be. I know that’s a bit corny, but think about it. You have the initial conditions: your parents, when and where you were born, etc. Where you will be in life at time “t+1” obviously depends on where you are at “t,” the decisions you make between “t” and “t+1,” and external influences on your life between “t” and “t+1.” (Here I’m assuming that the choices exclude external pressure. For instance, if someone bribed you to lie in Congress, the choice made would be taking the bribe vs not taking the bribe, while the external factors would include the offering of the bribe).

But that’s not the whole picture! Because the choice that you make is really merely a function of your past experiences. So are you choosing freely? I don’t think so.

But then what’s the point of it all? I’m being molded into a unique mind by life even though I am the only one with full access to my mind. Even then, my mind is always changing. My physical body is still human but my mind is the guidepost through which I perceive everything that’s happening. I did truly believe in Catholicism. I truly believed defending my abusive mother was the “correct” thing to do. Was it? What is “correct”? To the benefit of myself or to others? How can I trust the decisions I make in the future if my very moral framework has been influenced by a completely immoral human?

Anyway I should probably stop rambling 😊

Although if you have any books u think I may be interested in ... would love to hear it!

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professional_giraffe•

Firstly, I love it. The only thing I find a little off is the semi-repetitive use of words like "yet" and "but" on your fourth lines. Most of them could be left off and still say the same thing within the line and I think it sounds more ethereal in a way, which I get a sense of throughout your poem.

​

What is timing?

Why do things happen?

Is there a method to the madness

Or Are no questions worth asking?

I'm personally a fan of rhyming patterns, especially when it still fits the overall tone, and I think you've done a great job with the rhymes you've chosen. It's good read to me because it flows well together, and the syllables feel thought out.

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_yellowlife_OP•

Thanks so much! I’m revising this and will keep that in mind!

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