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r/raisedbynarcissists•
FindingQuestions

I got my first Flying Monkey today

[Support]

My edad messaged me saying how he would like me to message my nmom, since she messaged me a few times and I haven't responded. The last two times I tried to talk to her and stood my ground for the first time EVER it ended very badly.

Edad has only ever gotten her side of the story, but he'll defend her forever and I don't know if I have the energy to explain to him and get shot down again and again.

I'm finally standing up to my nmom instead of quietly dealing with her covert bs, and it's having ripple effects I've never felt before. Idk much about how to handle it, any advice is appreciated. I love my dad dearly, but he is the definition of "keep the boat steady" and I don't want to spend energy on that anymore.

Posted Sep 21, 2020, 4:23 AM UTC

93
baybird•

I am here to say congrats on you noticing it. THIS IS HUGE. Standing up to Nmom is setting a boundary now you have to keep reinforcing it. Remember this is your parents drama triangle and you do not have to put up with it. Would these links help at all?

https://shemsheartwell.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Karpman-Drama-Triangle-How-to-STOP-the-Drama1.jpg

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-1

2
FindingQuestionsOP•

Yep, I've been reading for less than five minutes and it's already helping me see things.

For instance, she's not trying to clean up her mess, she's trying to get him to do it through guilt and sadness.

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