Talk to your healthcare professional

Do you find yourself getting angry for no reason?

Are you always feeling like you need to lie down and take a nap?

Have important details started to slip your mind?

Has the majesty and grace of younger athletes begun to intimidate you?

These are all serious symptoms of aging. You may want to ask your doctor about Retirement^1 - a new treatment designed to address the sudden uselessness brought on by old age.

Talk to your healthcare professional today to find out if Retirement is right for you.

 

Retirement: Because Sometimes, You're Just Too Old ^TM

 

^^1 ^(Side effects of retirement may include: mouth kissing blood relatives, peeing sitting down, cheating at Scrabble, and deflating your childrens' pool toys.)