Source
r/LesbianActually•
FrontInitial6590

Question

Found this sub while searching for the answer, so I’d figure I’d post here and see what response I’ll get. I’m a straight male, whose daughter (16) came out to me and my wife last year. We’ve done our best to support her, and I couldn’t be more proud of how she handles herself. My problem is that her new girlfriend’s parents aren’t really on board with it. They couldn’t see each other for a long time because of this, and although my daughter takes it in stride, I know it affects her. I guess I’m looking for any advice or guidance on how to best handle the “other parents”? Because it honestly infuriates me.

Essentially, my daughter’s girlfriend’s mother believes she is too young to make these decisions and doesn’t recognize their relationship as an actual relationship. There have been times in which I’ve been told (by my daughter) to just let it go instead of saying something or doing something after the mother has said something stupid. I know there is a lot of experience here, so I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has anything that could help me better support both my daughter and her girlfriend; especially against the girlfriend’s parents, but also just in general.

Thank you.

Posted Nov 14, 2020, 3:22 AM UTC

73
overdoves•

Essentially, my daughter’s girlfriend’s mother believes she is too young to make these decisions and doesn’t recognize their relationship as an actual relationship.

When I told people I was straight when I was 10, they didn’t question it. When I said I’m bisexual when I was 13, they said I was too young to know. I came out as lesbian at 19 and people still told me “It’ll change!”

Thing is, if kids are “too young” to know if they are gay, how are they not too young to be straight? And if it changes, why is it a bad thing? After all, I’m a lesbian and I dated men before realizing.

8
TheSlopingCompanion•

Wow, brilliantly said.

1
cowardlydandelion•

Being supportive will help both your daughter and her girlfriend. It also provides the example of parents being normal about this stuff to her girlfriend's parents. You can't change how other people act, but being a safe haven yourself as parents will be a big deal to both of them.

3