Source
r/MNTrolls•
Ordinary_Display

Piss troll doesn't understand female anatomy?

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4114333-Mortified-TMI-Warning

Not really an AIBU but posting here for traffic - name changed because, well, this is weird and embarrassing and it isn't the first time it's happened and I want to know if it's ever happened to any of you:

Last night I had a really bad, very vivid, dream about my best friend who's recently had a baby, whereby she collapsed and was taken to hospital leaving me to look after her newborn - cue me wandering around her "house" looking for a loo as I needed to pee....

You can guess what's coming can't you; I dreamt I'd found a loo and proceeded to relieve myself, then woke up realising I'd ACTUALLY PEE'D blush jumped up to dash to the "real life" loo but it was too late and all the pee came gushing out *TMI WARNING as it had collected 'inside' me blush

Spent the next 20 minutes cleaning myself up and changing my pj's and desperately hoping DH and DD wouldn't come into the bathroom wondering what the hell was going on....

As I said, this isn't the first time this has happened, and I've tried to mitigate it by not drinking much before bed, but when you're deep asleep, and dreaming of being on the toilet, I'm not sure there's much you can do really

Please tell me I'm not the only one this has happened to!

Posted Dec 23, 2020, 1:25 PM UTC

620
runfatgirlrun88•

That is definitely the hairy handed fever dream of someone that thinks the urethral opening is located inside the vaginal canal...

16
Ordinary_DisplayOP•

Or possibly even inside the uterus itself.

3
[deleted]•

Also, ignorance of female anatomy aside, 20 mins to clean up and change pjs??? Was she struggling to decide which dry pair to change into????

9
Ordinary_DisplayOP•

Also no mention of changing the (imaginary) bedding.

6
Theislandofdrkipling•

But her fanny is so vast all the wee was sucked into its cavernous maw so the bed was pristine

7
[deleted]•

That could, possibly, take 20 mins if you were having a couple of sit downs in between. And changing 8 pillow cases just case. And putting the (imaginary) pissy bedding in the washing machine, possibly sorting through other washing to put on a full load. I've given this far too much thought. Now I'm tempted to recreate this scenario and time it. Without the piss.

4
OttovonShriek•

Was about to post this. How on earth would it collect "inside her"?! Not exactly the path of least resistance. . . Just grim.

7
divingoffthebalcony•

Ugh. Ridiculous. Merry Christmas, piss troll.

3
LeatherTadpole•

Has she got a second bladder? Or a vulval deformity allowing her to wet herself twice at the same time?

4
Bumbleybeesemotions of cheese•

No, just so fat it all funnels in to her vagina which is apparently like a bag and collects it all.

5
LeatherTadpole•

Lovely. Lucky woman.

9
CommunicationLumpy75•

Apparently lying on your side keeps it in too.

3
penaltychargenotice•

Hi all,

Apologies for the mass mail. Many thanks for your reports, this is just to let you know that we are dealing with the matter.

Best wishes,
Hope
MNHQ

4
Bumbleybeesemotions of cheese•

Michael also says not a troll [eyeroll]

4
Bumbleybeesemotions of cheese•

r/badwomensanatomy

ETA: OP claims her vagina got all stretched after giving birth and never went back to normal.

3
Theislandofdrkipling•

....and yet somehow “she” has ‘a really strong pelvic floor’ 🤨

7
Bumbleybeesemotions of cheese•

So its a cavernous reservoir she can empty at will

6
CommunicationLumpy75•

Good grief that is shocking and I speak as a woman who's 54 year old ex thought you could only get pregnant if you had an orgasm.

6
snafstail•

Maybe she has a spare vagina that she left on the bed and it went in there? Even if you slept 🦇 style it wouldn't collect then gush out you

Edited would to wouldn't, my brain isn't working today

3
shannofordabiz•

Do you think she meant a tiny dribble leaked out as she woke and clenched in terror and then as she stood and gravity asserted itself the rest thundered out and down

3