"Before attending xxx I spent 6 years in the military where I worked as an avionics technician repairing and troubleshooting various avionics and instrumentation systems aboard military aircraft."
Posted Jan 25, 2021, 8:17 PM UTC
After "Before attending xxx", as that is an introductory phrase. Don't listen to people who say "just put commas where if feels like there's a pause". I have had problems with commas for a long time, and I can tell you that there a many rules associated with them, once you start studying their use properly.
Thank you! I had a feeling one went there. I'm a bit curious about "...avionics technician repairing and troubleshooting..." Do u think something should go after avionics technician? That's where I feel the pause but like you said just because it feels like a pause doesn't mean a comma should go there. Thank you again for the help
No, I wouldn't put a comma there. I would do if you put "where I was" just after it. Using commas properly is actually quite difficult. I still struggle with certain rules, and I've been looking into it for quite a time now.
I second that the comma should go after "before attending XXX" as an introductory/adjective phrase.
How is it an adjective phrase?
(1) Before attending xxx, (2) I spent 6 years in the military where I worked as an avionics technician, (3) repairing and troubleshooting various avionics and instrumentation systems aboard military aircraft.
The main clause is (2) "I spent 6 years in the military where I worked as an avionics technician"
(1) is the introductory and (3) is a non-essential element.
However, you can turn (3) into an essential clause by introducing "that": (2) I spent 6 years in the military where I worked as an avionics technician that repaired and troubleshot various avionics and instrumentation systems aboard military aircraft.
[removed]
I rescind my comma after technician lol. I think for flow, I’d not put one because to me it flows better without it.
There are times where you can either add a comma or not, and i usually land on the sode of not using commas unless needed because I often find that sentences read clearer with fewer commas.
Lol. Thank you for the help!
Before attending xxx, I spent 6 years in the military where I worked as an avionics technician. I repaired and troubleshot various avionics and instrumentation systems aboard aircraft.
Agree that there should be a comma after "xxx." But I would consider restructuring the sentence as I feel the repetition of "military" and "avionics" (and the multiple conjunctions) makes the sentence more cumbersome than need be. In particular, I would suggest:
"Before attending xxx, I spent 6 years as an avionics technician in the military repairing and troubleshooting aircraft instrumentation systems."
The reason for the changes:
You already say you were working for the military -- not need to specify they are military aircraft.
You already say you were an avionics technician -- it is safe to assume at least some of the aircraft instrumentation you work on are avionics related. And (I could be wrong, as I am not in this field) it is an electronic system on an aircraft -- isn't that by definition avionics?
You originally said "I worked as." Maybe this is just my personal preference, but the verb "worked" is almost meaningless. You had a job repairing and troubleshooting. It is inherently work. No need to clutter the sentence with it.
You are completely right. Thank you so much! Very clear and precise.