[2244] The Calling of the Key – Chapter 1 & 1/2

Hi! Over the last half year I've written a book. I did so in my own little bubble, only allowing friends and family to read, but I realize it's time to get some real critique!

This is the first chapter and a half. Please critique whatever's on your mind, but if possible, I'd like you to also focus on the following:

• English isn't my first language. Is this noticeable? In what aspects?
• I've been told my protagonist has an unnatural thought-pattern. Do you agree? And do you have any tips on how I can improve on that?

Thank you very much!

Google doc The Calling of the Key

My critiques:

[2126] The Apartment (1/2)

[663] Alone in the City