[1980] LAKE SARDUS, Chapter 1

Here is a potential first chapter of a new project I’m working on. Right now the project is hovering somewhere between novella and novel (conceptually speaking).

LAKE SARDUS — Chapter 1

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(In case you prefer to read things cold, I’ve covered the premise and reader notes below with spoiler tags.)

Premise:

!A young man flees his grief to go live on his brother’s farm out in the boondocks of rural Arkansas.!<

Reader’s Notes — for those of you familiar with my other writing:

!This setting may feel awfully familiar. I’ve decided to begin a stand-alone but Jackson-adjacent project that also takes place in the Ozarks and features granny woman magic, cryptids, and other things that go bump in the night.!<

!I love Jackson but I wanted to go darker than the High South Detective Agency was ever designed to go.!<

!You may further recognize the protagonist and a certain lake from a short story I submitted to a writing contest here. Although the setting is the same, I have reworked the character completely, keeping only the name.!<

!Still, you may have a pretty good idea about what ends up happening to the poor guy.!<

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I’ll gladly take any and all feedback you can offer, but I’m particularly curious about two things.

(1) Do you like the protagonist (Audler) enough to want to read more? Is the narrative voice enjoyable to read? Or is Audler a drag?

(2) Does the opening feel too vague? Or even too expository? I took a risk opening with the characters “on the road.” Is this chapter intriguing or just plain confusing?

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Paid for by critique:

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