Thank you so much for your input! I’m glad you enjoyed my poem :)

I really like this piece, it’s matter of fact and has great flow. I really enjoyed the imagery of the sun, the shine and the black curtains... it was very vivid in my imagination. I also liked the mug theme, it makes your story linear which adds depth. Keep up the good work! If I could make one suggestion, stay away from contractions unless you want the more personal informal feel, personally I think a “will not” is more intense than a “wont”

I loved the imagery your words portrayed. I incidentally have been writing a short poems for the past half an hour (2:30 a.m.) and the second line, 'Hours spent past curfew.' reminded me of myself when I stay up late or get up early. I loved the transition from the mug being half full, to half empty, to empty.

Yes! The poem was meant to bring the sense of a liminal but comforting weekend morning.

I love this poem, it oozes comfort, coziness, and quirky little thoughts. "The quiet ones don't" is my favorite part. That's a funny little thought that gives the reader a glimpse into your mind.

I enjoyed reading this! Its matter of fact language really helps reinforce the imagery. I think one thing to consider is your use of full stops. They appear at certain places and not others, so I assume there’s some intention with their placement, but in particular the first line with the two full stops feels really stilted because of them. A couple of other areas also have this affect going on. Over all, well done!

I like this piece because it sounds like a jumble of thoughts laid out on paper/your mind, but structured in a way where the reader could easily visualize every word you stated. Beautiful use of imagery!

 

Passing moments. Muttered laughter.

Hours spent past curfew.

Grey in the morning, birds sing. 

The quiet ones don’t. 

&amp;#x200B;

The coffee is a tad too hot.

A smidge too strong

A bit too bitter.

Sundays spent sleepy,

but my mug is half full. 

&amp;#x200B;

Occupied by the sounds of the rain

The tv static that won’t stop.

Buttons that don’t work,

My toaster won’t toast. 

&amp;#x200B;

My mug is half empty. 

&amp;#x200B;

As the sun comes up

It shines too bright 

My black curtains scream.

The heat fills. 

My mug Is now empty. 

&amp;#x200B;

My clothes need cleaning. 

&amp;#x200B;

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/lr225j/racing_time/)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/lr1ttr/the_ornament_of_my_heart/)

Cereal Nostalgia