OP clearly just does not like MIL’s personality, and that’s fine, nobody has to like everybody. But the alarmism at MIL telling a 4 month old he’s gonna be in love with his mom? NOT HIS GRANDMOTHER, HIS MOM. Get a fucking grip. “dONt encOuRagE iNcESt iN mY son!!!” Girl, shut up. That’s fucking ridiculous. Happy fucking Monday lol
Posted Mar 1, 2021, 3:38 PM UTC
My mom gave the sweetest toast at my brother's wedding about how when he was little he said he wanted to live with her forever, and she was so happy he found the woman he actually wanted to live with forever. It was better than that, but that was the gist. I guess I should just call the police on her. What's the statute?
The legal statute or the JustNoMIL statute?
The former: no clue.
The latter: For-fucking-ever!
That's just what little boys do. My kid turns 4 this month and constantly hugs, kisses, and tells me he loves me. I've never felt so popular.
Right, that’s what I thought! It also sounds like, to me, that MIL was trying to be sweet and saying OP’s little boy would be in love with her as a mom, NOT a gross incestuous implication
You know this reminded me when I watched this fairy tale comedy as a child. Prince is suppose to get married and doesnt want to, so king, his father tells him how it is his duty and that he also married for his kingdom. Prince :" yeah, but you got to marry mom, and they want me to marry some stranger"
That’s what I thought! It’s the kind of thing my mom would’ve said, in a way of telling me that I was going to be such an amazing mother that my baby would see me as the most perfect woman in the world.
Just backspaced through a longer comment but suffice to say, when I found out I was having a boy, my older/wiser mom friends/family all reminisced about the days when their grown, well-adjusted sons were little guys who had such sweet love for their mamas. Now that I’m in their shoes, I’m so glad I listened.
The comments are so extreme and annoying omg.
(Abbreviated by memory) “What’s that mil? Are you sexualizing the love my son has for me?”
(Rational commenter jumps in to say, “hey it’s not that weird, my kid wanted to marry me”) “But he’s four months old, that is not ok! She’s going to set him up for psychological problems!”
I fuckin hate that sub lol. Also as I sit in Alabama I can’t roll my eyes hard enough at the “oMg aLAbAmA” references 🙄
My kid thinks I hang the moon and I don’t doubt that once he’s old enough to half ass understand the concept of marriage I’ll be first on the list. I guess we’re doomed lol.
Some folks will find anything to complain about.
I’ve found that most people keen to invoke Alabama and other southeastern US states when it comes to incest are not true crime fans... Utah, Montana, Colorado, those places have us beat. Racism and generational poverty? Yep. WAY more of a problem than incest. Also usually those people are not intellectual Titans and love shitting upon the hillbilly inbred Southerner. I mean, there’s trash here, no doubt. But there’s trash everywhere. There’s trash ass hillbillies in upstate New York lol
Ugh you’re so right. I’m used to us being the butt of every ‘Merica joke lol but I’m with you - I watch the ID Channel religiously and a few other states definitely have us beat 😂
love shitting upon the hillbilly inbred Southerner
Uncle Daddy tells me they’re just jealous 😂
I live in very rural Montana. I see a lot of sister-wives at the grocery store. There are also some couples around here who look like they share DNA.
Oh fuck I live in Toronto and western NY is a goddamn trip
I'm in AZ and we've had our fair share of incest issues, too.
That guy is creepy as frick. I don't understand how people like him end up with so much power.
While I hesitate to put all fundie religions under the umbrella of "cults" they do provide a backdrop of absolute faith and strict obedience. When people who have been indoctrinated in such a manner have a leader who is an actual good human being, it's not terribly harmful (although I do find it sad to never really question things.) But when a nightmare of a human has enough charisma and a line of bullshit that parallels what those people already believe... You get that asshole and others like him.
I think the 'trash hillbilly' was exacerbated by the fuckwits who decided to imminent domain the Shenandoah mountain farms to make the Shenandoah National Park.
A woman (i can't remember her name. I hate her so much) traveled around schools in the area and made claims that the children were so far behind, they were so stupid that they needed to be taken off the land. She was gunning for a government position. Thing was, Shenandoah mountain kids were not behind. She lied. She lied out her asshole mouth.
It gave incentive for the federal government to take control of the area and force people off the land. Anyone who fought was treated as a stupid person who didn't know what was best.
Fuck rich politicians who wanted their 'summer Catskills'.
I absolutely agree with you about the demonization of "hillbillies" beginning with eminent domain claims. I took a class last semester about the Great Smoky National Park, and there was a lot of the same kind of language and general efforts on the part of logging industry and other monied interests to disenfranchise the settlers of the land between TN and NC. Eat the rich
Stop talking about my family like that...
I was born in Alabama but raised in Georgia. I love making Alabama jokes. 😂
Haaaa is that sports based?
I’ve found that most people keen to invoke Alabama and other southeastern US states when it comes to incest are not true crime fans... Utah, Montana, Colorado, those places have us beat.
PREACH.
I hate that aLaBaMa thing. It's not funny at all and I'm from nowhere near.
Also, my favorite/least favorite thing they do is the supposed verbal slap-down suggestion that is just a comment using weirdly formal and complicated language to tell-off a mil. Tangentially related to your first point. Like, "I am sorry you feel that way, however this is my child and I will continue to do what I believe is right, just as I invite you to do with your children as we are all mother's and blah blah"
It's the epitome of a shower argument and everyone always responds as if it's so eLoQuEnT when really no one talks like that.
YES
I wish I could find the thread, but the other day I was lurking on a BEC post, and some bRiLlIaNt commenter wrote like a six paragraph dissertation as a “witty” response to MILs very mild antics.
Soo many upvotes, a couple of awards, tons of “this!” comments underneath. It was sooo long. Like I rolled tf outta my eyes cause it just...kept. Going. On. And. On. And it was so formal.
Definitely the type of shit you’d need about six showers to come up with, and you pat yourself on the back and, “take THAT!” under your breath. Nowhere near anything you’d actually say in real life, and way too formal and extra for real life purposes.
Solidarity. It’s like “just sit a piece here, MIL, while I deliver this Shakespearean soliloquy on why it bothers me that you insist on talking about your relatives who died before I married your son, since they went to their graves not knowing he CHOSE ME.”
Yes, both of my boys wanted to marry me at one point and I can confirm there was no incest involved. They outgrow it pretty quickly, too 🤣
Holy fuck, the comments. MIL is projecting her feelings onto grandson because she wants to marry her son. Creepy, gross. Obligatory Alabama reference. The collective stupidity on justnomil sub is too damn high.
And OP :"this makes me realize how creepy that really is". Also, MIL said something at the wedding to her son in vain of " I guess that means I am not your number one lady anymore" Oh soooooo, creepy, jocasta, help/s. I am really starting to despise that sub.
it might just be me being a miser, but I'm over the Alabama thing. I don't think it's humorous in the least
As someone from Appalachia, the incest jokes get old. I know Alabama is not Appalachia, but we get some of the same jokes.
Alabama here. Am also over it.
My MIL refers to me as my kids' "girlfriend" which I find annoying. To me, it FEELS like she's invalidating my role as the mother, but I realize, as a thoughtful person dealing with a less thoughtful person, that it's not really what she's intending when she says that. There's something to be said for picking your battles and not making mountains out of molehills.
I honestly think it's not only refreshing but quite strong of you to recognise that she just isn't someone as thoughtful and that she may say something that's a bit weird or insensitive but you can recognise that it's a her thing. She may be saying something you don't like but you know it isn't meant how it may sound, and you're able to move on from that. So many people can't do that, hell I fail at it sometimes. That sub would be better if so many OPs like this one could recognise that some people just aren't as thoughtful or understanding etc and think they're being nice perhaps.
I feel so much empathy for you. Why are we the only ones who notice the things MIL does? How come no one else can see it or make comments about it? I just ignore it too if no one else can notice it. It makes me feel like i’m sensitive. But then reading your post and all the comments, I guess we shouldn’t ignore it?
The sub has an opposite effect sadly :/ mountains outta mole hills, and Jocasta/pedo vibes for everything else.
Yyeeepp. And this is why I got therapy! I'm hyper aware and self reflecting on myself and often wonder am I being sensitive or my feelings justified. Got a therapist to help me sort those feelings and communicate!
I didn't just decide, I must be right because someone else is as sensitive as me.
And your other comment about actively muting MIL. Don't get how people can read that and still empathise with OP.
They empathize with OP because she’s validating the hatred and dark feelings they have against their own “JNs”. OPs entire post was ridiculous, and nothing about (aside from OP) was JN.
The other commenters that posted support for OP are the same ones that hear “you’re gonna love your mommy so much”, and think she’s trying to get me to fuck my son.
Same as how they hear mil say they’re proud of the man their sons become, and think “MILs trying to fuck my husband”.
Some of them are dumb, some want drama, and some really think everything a mil does is nefarious. They need to get out of the echo chamber and learn to communicate. Either way when posters like this show and say something, they find validation for all those feelings.
I confess that when I first started lurking, what I was reading started contributing to the issues I had with my MIL. My MIL can have serious boundary issues. I married her only child, during whose childhood she and my FIL were horribly infantilized by FIL's father. FIL now has serious health issues exacerbated by the years spent living in that situation. She isn't and wasn't a truly abusive person.
Reading here on Truth helped me gain my balance back in dealing with her. I can and should have reasonable boundaries and communicate like an adult. There is space in my life to respond with grace instead of going nuclear over dumb little turns of phrase like "Is that your girlfriend over there?" or "my baby" or whatever.
My 5 year old asked her dad to marry her so she can go from princess to queen. So I guess he's king (lol). She's pretty evil, so I side eyed the fuck outta her.
This is completely normal.
Yeah I just read that post and thought her reaction was weird (and the commenters' even weirder.) When my son was about 4, I was getting ready for a date and he came and brought me a giant plastic ring and said "Mommy, will you marry me?" and it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. I wore the gaudy ring all night and my date never said a word about it. lol (But he knew I had a kid so maybe he was just rolling with the obvious.)
My 6 year old son wants to marry me and my husband. Now, I suspect that's just so he can live with us forever so he doesn't have to take care of his own shit but you know, the sentiment is there. The MIL's comment isn't weird but the OP's reaction is.
Yesterday they came over and brought lunch and it was actually relatively lovely. PROVIDED I actively put her on mute when she starts being...well...herself.
“I went to visit my mil and every time I said something or tried to be myself, she shut me down and tried to put me in my place/muted me.”
Does she freaking hear herself?!? Disgusting.
see that lady over there (pointing at me), you’re going to be so in love with her. You’re going to want to marry her when you’re older. You’re going to beg her to marry you “Excuse me. Please don’t encourage my infant child to have romantic feelings towards family members THANK YOU”
Excuse me, kids all go through a marrying parents phase. the begging was extreme to say, but not the most evil thing in the world.
My almost 4 year told me he’s go to “marry” me, his dad, the neighbors “naked” cat, and his trex. Kids don’t understand “marry” the same way adults do, but awesome job projecting RoMaNtIc fEeLiNgS.
And I would hope my kids love me in a family way when they’re older 😑 I guess OP is in camp “the kid hates her and cuts her out when they turn 18 or find a partner”.
God I didn't even see that first part, that's disgusting and I'm sure much worse than she says because bias OP. I can't imagine going to someone's house, bringing them lunch, and then every time I go to talk I'm "actively muted", what does that even mean. Do you just start talking and change a topic in hopes she won't realise or like actively shushing her...
And MIL loves her son, that seems to be OPs issue, in these comments anyway since she shifted the goal posts and claimed incest wasn't her issue (righhttt). And MIL thinks OPs baby will love OP too... You'd think as a now mum OP may understand a mothers love now.
I have no idea, I’m hoping it means OP just tuned out whatever parts mil was saying she didn’t like but that would be too mature of her. All I know if someone tried to “actively mute me” when I’m talking, we’d be having serious adult words -_-
Like I don’t get what these women want. Especially the ones that have kids, do they not love their kids?? Why is it wrong for MILs to love their kids, but not for OPs? The Jocasta/invest argument could be used on them too.
Yeah it's how she said "actively mute" instead of ignore that makes me think she's doing something. Even if she talks over her, changes topic, thinks she's being sly and people won't notice. It's pretty obvious and as someone people constantly talk over, we definitely notice! Ha.
Exactly, do these OPs really think when their kid hits 18, or gets a girlfriend they'll step aside, bow out gracefully as a parent and now just exist in whatever capacity their kid and kid in law have stated through a document is appropriate!
People notice, and especially the person they’re talking over. And possible that persons spouse...
Gonna get a little anecdotal: when me and my DH got married his sister hated me, she looked down one, everything about my existence annoyed her. If we were together in a room and I was having a conversation, she would come over and start talking over me or completely hijack the conversation. I was still super new and super young, and in the mindset I want everyone to like/approve of me; so I never said anything, my husband noticed and after a couple more times of her doing that and him seeing the pattern... he snapped at her to knock it off, a lot more drama went down because she felt attacked about her behavior getting called out (and she did not like it), and then we went NC with her.
How long before FIL decides he’s tired of OP disrespecting his wife and says something to her or her DH? Or any of MILs other kids?
Being an active bitch can and will get you isolated and cut off 🤷🏽♀️
A lot of these OP are gonna get a HARSH reality check when the shoes on the other foot and they become a mil, relationships aren’t easy and they aren’t black and white, all relationships require work. I wonder how many of them are gonna think back and realize they were the asshole.
I just saw that one and started to report comments and then just eventually reported the entire post because of the commenters all screaming about incest.
I thought most little boys go through some phase where they say they're going to marry their mom. These commenters all need to take a seat.
It is so sad when people so want to fit in that they make such mountains out of molehills. And the jump to romance? The MIL is not the one that needs to get a grip.
I so hope that she is just trying to get karma and isn't so.........idiotic? can I say that here?...in real life. Or that poor kid is in for some trying times...........
She comes in here pretending that's not her issue, her issue is about MIL apparently implying she'll be DHs number 1 and that a mothers love is above all. I mean firstly does OP now as a mother not perhaps understand that MIL loves her kid, but secondly that'd wildly different than her incest and romance comments, she's full of shit
I was literally talking about how my niece always said she would marry her dad (my brother) with my SIL yesterday! It’s a totally normal thing imo, kids see the relationships of their parents and think “I want that too! I’ll marry mummy/daddy!” because they’re kids and don’t know any different. It’s not encouraging incest ffs 🤦🏼♀️
Anything to paint normal behavior in a sinister light. That won't fuck the kid up at all...
I remember reading a book during my first pregnancy in the 90s (I have 44 summers so obvs am a dried up hag sorry) that literally described those first post birth days as "falling in love" with this person you made and that you actually have to in order to want to keep them alive when it gets hard.
I am so generally PEEVED about all this nonsense on justnomil that I made an appointment to see if I am indeed going through menopause and about to sabotage all my relationships. I might get tested for dementia too, clearly I going through something by not seeing incest everywhere.
Edit. I had a wedding ceremony for myself and my oversized Pooh bear when I was 5. I am deviant who should not be listened to, and locked up immediately.
I'm only 43 (can't IMAGINE being as old and dried up as you are) but I remember that book. I also told my sister when her baby came home on "gotcha day" that you don't just love your children. You fall in love with them. Because you do.
I was convinced I was going to marry my dad when I was very small.
Surprise, I didn’t end up marrying my dad.
Yeah, my three boys and my daughter all wanted to marry me, too. Guess what happened?
Hint: they’re all between 16-23 now; they have very different feelings. I think my 16 yo would actually divorce me if she could.
As all 16 year olds are wont to do
We had a supremely hilarious/awkard moment in the office at work when my bosses 5 year old daughter announced to everyone that she was going to marry her daddy when she grew up. Pretty sure it's something that happens with most kids.
So much projection by all the comments over there. As always, JNMIL is off it's rocker.
I really wonder what’s going to happen when those commenters kids grow up 😂
Are the OPs just going to disappear out of their kids lives?
When I was a small child I wanted to marry my daddy, obviously I didn't but I thought it was quite normal for kids to want to marry mommy/daddy when they were small? I don't have kids, but even i can see its not something to get so bent out of shape over. I mean, can you sprain your eyes by rolling them too hard? Asking for a friend obviously
It is 1000% normal in the tiny universe that a child has to associate love generally and assume if you're supposed to marry someone you love, why not marry the people you love the most - your parents/siblings/grandparents.
I’m not sure how I feel about this... my kid wants to marry his (in this exact order): his trex, me, neighbors “naked” cat, then his dad.
I’m not sure what’s more hilarious; me being second place to a trex toy, or my husband being in last place on the love scale 😂😂😂
Hey at least you beat the naked cat.😂😂😂
😂😂😂 yay for small victories lol ❤️
It's so normal Mister Rogers addressed it in an episode.
Nope, nope, nope, nope, NOPE. FUCKING NOPE. Woman has something wrong with her and should be seeking some therapy or something because that is NOT normal and is a whole BAG of nope.
I'd keep an eye on that and find ways to nip it in the bud so her mindset doesn't end up confusing or rubbing off onto your LO.
Really??? Overreacting much? I'm waiting for the pedophile/ no contact comments to start.
She's a chronic victim and sees issues in every single aspect of her life as can be seen from having issues with literally every single person in her life, and they're all less than BEC.
Edit, then she comes in here claiming the point of her post is something completely different than what she actually posted about to try and not look ridiculous!
Yep, I mean if you meet an arsehole thats unfortunate, but if everyone one you meet is an arsehole then your the problem.
And sure there's situations where everyone around you may be assholes and you may be the person stuck in it that, but you're still making choices or attracting those people to your life and it's still you that needs to change whether with therapy or higher standards or standing up for yourself etc. So even if you ARE stuck surrounded by assholes only you can change that you can't them!
True, but some people just live for the drama so...🤷🏼♀️
That was a definitely a “am I wrong for thinking this is totally normal” moments. Thank you for the sanity.
When my son was little, he used to tell me all the time he was going to marry me. I will turn myself into the proper authorities immediately.
I mean, it’s a completely natural phase that kids go through. It’s not in any way romantic, as OP claims, for godsakes. What it is is a developmental stage that children experience. Children want to marry their loved ones when they begin to express the concept of love as concrete - and marriage, to a young child, is a logical way to express love.
But you know, go on, OP; your MIL is definitely trying to foster an Oedipal complex in your baby. /s
ETA: This makes me really upset. Girl is really mad because MIL is affirming and celebrating the love a child will have for his/her parent and vice versa. Yeah, maybe it’s not something someone would typically say, but it’s not meant as some diabolical plot. She is actively encouraging this child to love his mother. OP could do worse.
I wanted to marry my little brother when I was 5. I have Interpol on the line as I type this.
We are sick, sick people.
It's an absolute crime syndicate over here.
Her complaint is the dumbest freak out over nothing that I've read in a loooong time. There must be some postpartum hormones coming in to play here because this is beyond BEC. This is basically BJB (bitch just breathing).
Lol, bitch just breathing; I like it, and yes, that is exactly what this is.
Time to trademark!
OP here. I think context is everything. Of course I realize this is normal behaviour for a child. What I’m Annoyed by is the constant need that MIL has to assert herself as being DH’s number one lady. Constantly trying to nail down that boys always love their mothers the most.
Why do you even care? She loves her son like you love your son. It is completely fucking normal to love your kids and want to be important to them.
You post about everyone in your family basically and it's all annoyances and how you perceive shit. You are 100% always looking for a reason to stay pressed. Have a Coke and a smile because this is barely BEC. You just hate the woman and like reddit attention.
Welcome to my Ted Talk.
Oh but mils aren't allowed to love their sons, especially adult ones. Otherwise well the evil mil has no boundaries and obviously wants to sleep with the son/s Is Op suddenly going to stop loving her baby because he grows up? As for the other comment about how she shouldn't eat this, or the diet starts Monday, well the mil must be a vain silly woman, because no one ever says that do they. Rotfl. The mil is probably terrified of putting a toe out of line because miss perfect will accuse her of God knows what.
Once upon a time I used to post on JNMIL, one of my most popular posts was a past event when I first met my MIL and she was bragging about what a wonderful man her son is and she said "if I was a few decades younger, I'd..." and trailed off. So my classy, demure ass said "you'd fuck him?". Embarrassed the shit out of her and it negatively effected every single interaction we had from that day on. It took therapy and a ton of self reflection to understand that I was just being an asshole while she was just trying to convey how proud she was of the man he grew into. We get along just fine now. Does she annoy me? Sure. Is that my problem? Yes. Is it worth depriving my boyfriend of his mother or my kids of a grandma they adore? Nope. Why? Because conversations can fix a lot of problems. Not all, but most.
Miss perfect apparently actively mutes MIL, when MIL brings them lunch, and MIL goes to start talking, OP has to "actively mute" her. Whatever the fuck that means, probably worse than OP is letting on. She's a horrible person to treat someone like that. And MIL is still nice enough to know her place, tell baby it'll love their own mum, and still bring them lunch.
MIL sounds so lost in trying to navigate with a son she loves and a horrific DIL who actively mutes her and accuses her of trying to what groom a baby for incest with his mother one day? But then pretends that's not the issue.
I just read through her history and she has beef with e v e r e y o n e.
Told you so! She's miserable, mean, petty, and just rude. And a complete pussy.
Gross this is some underground Reddit bullying subculture that I did not need to know existed. Trolling support communities. Neat hobby.
Dude you literally are pissed your MIL “encouraged romantic feelings in family members!” In a four MONTH old baby. Not trolling, you need a reality check.
How is it underground? Because none of the posts here get sensational and dramatic? It’s a meta sub to discuss your toxic echo chamber 🤷🏽♀️ and everything that is wrong with it.
The fact your BEC barely interesting post went from benign to covert incest is a lot of bull shit, and shows what’s wrong with those sickos over there.
You’re reaching kinda far for that, since all your post says is Mil talking to your kid about him loving you. It’s not like she looked at your husband and said “your Wife will NEVER love LO as much as I love you.”
You have a lot of maturing to do, and I say that because you have a problem with literally everyone around you for the most flaccid basic reasons. You try so hard to control how everyone behaves and treats you, but you don’t even give them basic respect to be individual or understand them.
You’re using trolling wrong btw; no one here went to your post and posted bullshit, you came here. Knowledge is power, learn the definition and what action supports it before trying to use it
No one is bullying you, you're just stuck on hyper complainer mode.
Case in point:
That post right there tells me your issues with all these other people stem from your unwillingness to be the bad guy and say no. You'd rather let someone irritate the fuck out of you and put you out than speak your mind. Then bitch on the internet about it.
You're also entitled as fuck, as seen by the fact you feel put out having to ask your grandma to use the family vacation home.
You're all cock and no balls.
XD
Boy, you really love being the victim don't you? Drama seeking much?
Also, do we have flairs in this subreddit? I want to claim that one. XD
Also, how is it bullying when YOU came HERE? I'm not in your DMs, you're not that important. You're just always mad and that sounds exhausting. The sheer fact your MIL said something sweet and benign to a BABY and that set you off is just weird and shows that it doesn't matter what she does, you just want that anger.
It’s not a support community anymore, it’s an echo chamber.
How are we bullying and trolling, exactly? Do you even know what those words mean? Because if you do, you're deliberately using them incorrectly.
I find that pretty gross.
I don’t think you understand the concept of either bullying or trolling, but go off.
How did you get here? What were you looking for? The name of the sub is justno truth. Truth. Let that sink in a minute. If you bothered to actually look at posts you would see discussion. Something poorly lacking in the justno mil sub. It has become an echo chamber. Whenever someone comments that isn’t in line with mil evil, dil right they get vilified. It isn’t truly a support sub anymore. They don’t wish to hear differing opinions. And apparently neither do you. You came here to what? Try and change everyone’s mind that your mil is saying something gross? That didn’t work so people here are the bully’s? You are so ass backwards. The echo chamber is the right place for you. Discussion and differing options given with respect happen here. You clearly don’t want either.
Underground bullying unlike what JNmIL commenters say about even nice MILs? Is it bullying because we aren’t kissing your ass? My mom used to tell me that if everyone you meet is an asshole...it’s not them YOURE the asshole. You may want to reflect on that
Serious question: if that is really your problem with what she said, why did you refer to it in your post as her encouraging romantic feelings in family members?
Exactly! There’s a difference between calling it romantic feelings, and “asserting moms the number one”.
This was my exact question when I saw OP's reply and I was going to comment but got called away from the computer. I note that despite answering a whole lot of other crap OP has not answered this question. And it stands.
If you knew this was normal and harmless why did you suggest the exact opposite. Shame on OP for slandering her MIL.
Edit spelling
She knows she’s full of shit. She knows she implied her MIL was an incestuous pedophile for karma.
Or, hear me out, she didn’t mean anything by it and was just talking to a baby.
That's absurd!
This is obviously just step one in MILs 18 step plan to brainwash the baby into an incestuous marriage.
My son is almost 18. I don't plan to stop loving him on his birthday. Moms and sons have a very special bond. As do fathers and daughters. And moms and daughters and fathers and sons. Kinda how it works. Hopefully when you've been a mom for more than five minutes you'll calm your tits a bit. Both you and your son will be better off if you're not constantly dying on every single hill. Best wishes and warmest regards.
She was saying that about your boy and you, how are you taking “you are gonna love your mom so much!” As something nefarious?
You need to grow up and communicate with your MIL like an adult. You have a four month old - stop acting like a middle schooler and have an actual conversation with your MIL if it actually makes you uncomfortable. “Hey I don’t want to act like I’m nitpicking you but you said x the other day and it just made me uncomfortable can you please not say that again?” Thats it. Don’t run around and complain about a situation that can easily be fixed by using your words.
She's too busy actively muting MIL every time MIL talks, despite MIL bringing them lunch to eat.
You clearly have territorial issues that are creating problems in your own head. I just read through your history and other than her complaining about Covid restrictions literally everything you post about her BEC at most. You should stop hanging around the cesspool that is JustNoMIL and go to therapist about why everyone in your life is a JustNo who's out to get you. You need some fucking self reflection.
For one, don’t you think if I could afford therapy I wouldn’t be turning to the internet for relationship advice? And for two, the fact that you’re so quick to put a full blanket on every one of my past posts diminishing 100% of my feelings is proof that this isn’t exactly the safe haven for truth tellers that you think it is.
This isn’t a support sub, but if you’re a little less guns blazing you could actually get some good advice here. Some of our posters are former JNMIL posters who found their way here the same way you did.
You’re probably not in a place to consider it right now, but when you’ve chilled a bit maybe you should try coming back and reading through an opposing opinion for once. You won’t get anything but pats on the back and support on JNMIL, which I know you think you want. But if you want to actually, I don’t know, solve your issue? That’s not the place to be. Their advice will be to go nuclear, to torch your relationships and dance on the ashes, and then they’ll congratulate you while your life sinks further into despair and you start wondering how you even got there. And when you’re out of fodder to entertain them they will dump you and you’ll only get pm’s from a couple of them, and that will be to ask if there’s any more drama for them to suck on.
Excuses, excuses. Anything to avoid the fact that you're in a very toxic mindset and taking it out on everyone around you.
Grow up before you do it to your kid.
Serious question: when your son grows up, are you prepared to constantly walk on eggshells and say only the most innocent of things lest your own DIL/SIL freak out on you? Are you prepared to be relegated to low/no contact just by virtue of being your sons mom?