Source
r/OCPoetry•
Podroig

Freedom’s mirage

How violently we longed to grow

old and wise

while with makeshift wands of

oak and bark

we discovered new lands

and conquered great beasts.

While dressed in matching dungarees

we rolled in mud

and bathed in rain.

We made the world our muse

that spoke to us

about the importance of youth.

But little did we know; we didn’t hear,

too busy consumed by the lure of streams

running like the years. Only now when we look

back to those days when

happiness transpired a stick or

open field, do we see the beauty of it all.

Only now do we see

the freedom we yearned

was present in the autumn trees

and bark and present in the soft

crunching leaves.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ly09u0/our_last_day_a_poem_inspired_by_the_stock_market/gpq56i7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ly0yun/stara_mama_old_mother/gpq520v/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

Posted Mar 5, 2021, 1:59 AM UTC

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[deleted]•

The abstract imagery of these lines

Only now do we see

the freedom we yearned

was present in the autumn trees

is utterly mesmerizing!

I love the narrative tone, I imagine the first part of the poem being sung with a little bit of nostalgic smile and as we come to the end we realize that all we are left with is a sad smile and realisation - we found the good old days so late that there is no way to get back in them.

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oneofthosewitches•

Truely amazing. Love the theme of lost youth and only truely appreciating what you had once it's lost. You provide the reader with amazing imagery that makes the reader feel nostalgic and long to go back in time. Love the flow of your poem until about halfway through. After that it feels a bit off, maybe you could look again at the last lines. Overall a really nice poem. Well done!

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