Source
r/askgaybros•
ProxySpectral

Gay parents of Reddit, how have found interacting with other parents?

I figure during the pandemic most of us have had a lot of extra time on our hands to think about long term plans, and to figure out what we really want to do with our lives. I'm in my 20s now so I am not looking to rush into anything, but one thing I would love to have is a family of my own at some point.

Growing up I volunteered and was a part of scouts and there were 2 youth who had gay parents, it was absolutely heart wrenching to see how cold other parents could be to them, and their families. Never anything physically hostile, just stares, way to many disrespectful comments, removing them from email lists, etc. We had to ask one individual to leave after they made a comment along the lines "It's not healthy to raise a child with no mother" literally 2m in front of a couple. The really upsetting part was seeing other parents treating the children of these couples different.

I also feel the need to say that there were some awesome individuals who came forward when they saw this behaviour.

I know there are jerks everywhere, and that the negative event's stick with you, I just never want a child of mine to be treated differently because I'm gay.

So gay parents of Reddit, have you ever been treated differently then other parents?

Posted Mar 10, 2021, 4:43 PM UTC

5813
Bodyguard8367"It puts the lotion on its skin"•

One of the things we did was tell our son that he didn’t have to fight my battles. That he was given our blessing to lie, evade, protect himself in any way he needed to in the moment, and that we would deal with whatever we had to.

I had a homophobic teacher that asked him point blank if he had two dads and when he said yes she sent him to detention.

It was difficult to have a conversation with her, but I explained that whatever bias she had, that my son is straight and she will not be allowed to discriminate against him by federal, state , and local law. It was very hard not to threaten her, and not to belittle her personal feelings. But I ended up just saying clearly: do nothing to punish my son for my behavior because it is against the law.

80
ProxySpectralOP•

I totally agree everything in the first paragraph! I remember my mother giving my the same permissions.

It's quite upsetting to hear a teacher would do that. Here they would instantly loose there job and never be able to work with children again. I would also struggle to keep a cool temper there.

28
[deleted]•

:(
did she think he picked two dads?
"go to detention and think about what you have done!"

16
Munitreeseed•

This is golden, thank you for that advice!! I will use it in my life for sure!

7
Heydudehi2•

You are a Saint

3
UselessThought887Same Sex Attracted Individual •

Not a parent but I have two dads.

When parents of kids learned I had two dads I got exluded alot from friends, parties ect.

Homophobia sucks.

36
LetsGetRowdyRowdy•

Out of curiosity, about what decade did you grow up in, and were you raised in a fairly conservative area? I have always assumed that wouldn't be as much of an issue for my generation's future offspring, especially if I were to start a family in a pretty liberal city. I am very much on the fence against having kids for a multitude of other reasons, but I definitely have a worry about that too.

7
UselessThought887Same Sex Attracted Individual •

1990s

Very liberal area.

6
thatredditscribbler•

I’m not a father, but I am friends with one. They told me that once while they were shopping at a grocery store, an old woman came up to them and verbally berated them, telling them they were hell bound and that it was wrong that they were raising a child.

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ProxySpectralOP•

I have been lectured on how I am "condemning" myself in a grocery store before, it fucking sucks.

3
[deleted]•

[deleted]

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ProxySpectralOP•

Glad to hear a positive experience. I live on the Canadian west coast and I am grateful most are fairly progressive here.

4
joemondo•

My kids are grown up (as in out of college) now. But no, we never were treated differently or poorly. But we're in Seattle, which is not the most typical US city.

9
Megustamyn•

I guess it depends on where you live. We never had a problem. Our oldest boy once dropped a homophobic friend who, oddly enough, has a gay sister. We have been very involved in the school system and all the teachers have been wonderful. I even served on the Board of Education. My husband has two children from his first marriage to a woman. We had a funny encounter years ago when he and I went to move his daughter into her college dorm. One of her roommates said to her, "You're so lucky that both your dads are gay."

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