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r/OCPoetry•
Low-Tie-9668

Lotus Eater

Woe is my soul, set a drift, like a lotus on the ebb,

Held back from Ithaca, by the past and the present.

Ithaca, my home, where my hands work this soul into these words,

And where these working hands only know of shadows.

Take them, like a lotus, from this cave at Ithaca,

Take from it, the words, whose only truth is shadows,

Take from it, and set a drift, this woeful soul -

Set you past Charybdis, and her insatiable greed,

Set you past the Sirens, and their irresistible temptations;

Present you to Circe, and the true form of man,

Present you to Nobody, the blind leader of men.

Present you to me; my word, my lotus, my soul

When all this has passed, and you drift back on the flow.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/mav4c1/comment/grunikt

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/masm7h/comment/grul29d

Posted Mar 22, 2021, 8:24 PM UTC · edited

37
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1
meksman•

Great litany effort retelling and--in its awed, fascinated tone--entanglingly itself with Homer. My question is whether in this entanglement is something wrested away from the Odyssey that's relevant and fresh and of the 21st century?

I admire the ambition to head directly into the classical domain, but as it stands, this poem comes across more as a list of cool things rather than a true "translation" of them, from antiquity to us.

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Low-Tie-9668OP•

Hey, thank you for the feedback, i appreciate you taking the time to read this. The Odyssey is just a motif, so I didn’t mean for it somehow connect to modernity, but I do understand what you’re saying.

2
asearchforyou•

So, um, lotus eating and lotus flowers seem important here. Your woeful soul is a lotus adrift. It would like to be home where it is a married king, but it is held back. Then as in dream logic, it is home, in Ithaca, that place where "hands" can work your woeful soul into "words" while only knowing "shadows." The words are the shadows. They are lotus flowers for eating, setting us adrift. High and distracted from our gainful labors.

1
Low-Tie-9668OP•

Hey, thanks for reading, Search. I don’t know about this one, I think I was trying too hard lol.

1
asearchforyou•

lol, maybe. Is that better than not trying enough? Or are both results equally far from the forgiving target?

1
Low-Tie-9668OP•

I’d say a failure is a failure, but that doesn’t mean the process wasn’t satisfying lol

2