Probably for the Best
She surprises me with warm hands over my open eyes
as I sit by the canal
on Illinois St.
I put down my book on educational philosophy
and buy her a drink,
a cafe au lait,
like that time when we were eighteen and alone exploring the streets of Rome.
The last time I saw her,
we collectively participated
in the worst date
in history.
This isn't a date, though,
and it already
feels
different.
She is bouncing
her foot
against my leg
under the table.
I move away from her,
but she touches me again and again
before holding her entire cortical homunculus there against my shin
for her ongoing enjoyment.
I wasn't expecting this
at all
but I lean into our conversation, obediently,
like a light-seeking moth spotting a wide open flame.
Her boyfriend is an idiot.
He isn't growing up.
She's curious about my adult life.
She likes that I read.
Then I walk her to her car
as a thousand and one thoughts race through my head
like the time I tackled her when we were twelve
and the time she pretended to be my girlfriend at an alien commune lumber mill south of Bloomington.
I want to invite her to Holliday Park to keep the conversation going.
I want to move her curly red hair out of her freckled sunburnt face
and kiss her,
but I don't.
I let her get in her car.
I let her drive away.
She marries someone else.
I do, too.
Posted Apr 6, 2021, 1:46 PM UTC
Okay, I’m going to give your work a shot because I feel like it generally just goes too far over my tiny head. Still... I really enjoyed this one.
It has that kind of Sun Also Rises vibe, but not in the misogynistic way. It gives me an idea of ‘the one that got away’. Certain people come in and out of our lives, and we may fall in love with them quickly during those little interactions.
The reason I say ‘the sun also rises’ is that this has a kind of defeatist yet realistic outlook, similar to the protagonist at the end of the book - ‘it’s a pretty thought isn’t it’ - or something rather. You can’t catch every beautiful person, sometimes it’s a frustrating realisation.
I really loved this piece, like all your other poetry!
Thanks, tim0777. Always nice to hear from you, and yes. "a kind of defeatist yet realistic outlook" sounds about right. Life is complicated, and this is but a snapshot in time. Nevertheless, this poem spends more time on the shot not taken and the relationship that was lost rather than the fact that life goes on and is filled with newer, equally happy memories (to come).