Checking to make sure your unresponsive ass is not dead = Invading privacy

don’t steal my shit. If you want to pretend to experience long lasting invalidation of self, bless your shrivelled, little heart.

._. Oooo so tough.

I hear my mother and father discussing whether their child is dead and how to not lock them in their room despite said child not minding the privacy. I eventually decide not to lose the one thing that gives me space and open the door. I get bombarded with back rubs and face cleanser from the mother while my father reinstalls the door knob.

So... OP was in depressive sleep, unresponsive. Parent are genuinely worried to the point they’re about to remove a whole ass door to make sure they’re not dead...

They find OP alive - back rubs and face cleanser while the dad puts the door back. And OP wants an apology?

If my kid is depressed and unresponsive guess what they’re getting their door broken the fuck down. I don’t give a shit.

OP if you end up here, move out if you hate them so much their worrying pisses you off. Get a job, find roommate gtfo. You have so much growing up to do.

So... as a person who’s been suffering from depression since childhood, I do understand the sentiment of “don’t wanna talk, don’t wanna do” kind of states in which I’d rather just... try to avoid everyone and everything in the hopes I just “get over” this sad hump all on my own so that I don’t have to interact with others when I’m in such a state. My reasons for wanting to stay locked away, of course, naturally varied depending on my level of maturity at the time, so I have felt the trademarked “I’ll never be understood/accepted” and “my parental unit is a dumb narcissistic bitch” angst that OP’s post seems to exude (boy, I don’t miss those days).

OP has two other posts concerning their “parent”, but they are wholly unrelated to this particular issue, so I’ll keep my focus on this post only.

So... it’s pretty clear from the sheer fact that mom is trying to sit down and talk to you that she must have some semblance of care. She may not have the softest approach, and one might even argue that she could be ignorant to mental wellness and depression, sure. But I don’t think she’d be there at all if she didn’t feel something, so that’s important.

It’s also important to note that you decided to give her the silent treatment like a fricken’ child, which typically does not actually make ya look cool and edgy— it just further worries your parents. And so, when you finally decided to say anything at all, and it was basically “fuck off”, your mom decided to give you space. Now, you can sit there and overthink that, read into shit that may or may not be there, sure. But the actions, by your own account I might add, don’t add up.

Now onto the biggest issue, the removal of the lock. While, yes, I would personally have preferred a knock on the door, maybe even a little of, “Hey, OP, let’s have that talk now”, some parents just don’t possess the forethought of manners like that when it comes to their kids. Hell, my mom did it too, just would barge right in and scare the ever-living crap outta me. It sucks, I know. But it happens.

However, I’m gonna play Devil’s advocate here and say they had every right to get that door open once it was discovered locked.

For one thing, you had admitted that you’re depressed. And while, yes, not every individual with depression struggles with suicidal thoughts or behaviors, most people are aware that depression can lead to such an extreme. And, honestly, rather than running the risk that you would not have done something irreversible and instead getting into that room just to make sure you’re okay is, in fact, the appropriate response of any parent.

Plus, considering your earlier behavior, they probably had already assumed that you wouldn’t respond to their calls anyway. And thus they acted in the way they thought was best.

Lastly— and this one might feel a bit unfair— it is their house. You still live with them, and if they believe you might be dying alone on your bedroom floor, they have absolutely every right to rush to get to you as quickly as humanly possible, even if that means taking a power tool to the door knob.

There just seems to be an influx of posters who have no issues being shitty to whomever is providing them housing.

OP’s mom clearly has some things to work on because as you said her questions aren’t great, but honestly trying to get folks to open up about their mental health struggles can be hard for professionals.

For her mom to take the lock off the door of an adult child, with no previous history of similar behavior that OP mentioned in her post, Mom is probably more concerned/worried than OP can really recognize under the depression fog.

When we were 19 my best friend was seriously struggling with self-harm and depression. I didn't handle it the best. I'm sure I asked inappropriate and awkward questions, I know that she resented and disliked a lot of my attempts to help (she told our other friends as much) but I was just so, so worried about her.

We were in university and I remember at one stage she was blogging about how she hadn't left her dorm room in three days and had only eaten one pack of ramen noodles because she was too depressed to eat. We weren't in the same dorm, so I had to ask my RA to introduce me to her RA so I could literally beg to be allowed to go knock on her door. And when I did she didn't respond, she didn't make any noise, but she did blog about how "fucking annoying" I was being, so I left. And asked her RA to do a wellness check later.

So I feel for both here. I get that OP is frustrated by her parents, I get that they are overbearing and her mom's questions were awkward and invasive. But I feel for them both. Because I know that helpless feeling of wanting to help someone and not knowing how to do it.

I can’t get through posts that are written like a tumblr post, even if the stories are true I just can’t take that type of writing seriously.

OP has a terrible attitude, and their mom is not nearly as helpful as she thinks she is. And the nocturnal schedule they made for themselves doesn't seem to be helping.

I'm glad the majority of the comments over there are telling OP that a parent is right to be concerned after that long of not seeing their child, but the RBN suggester and the person who said to get OP's papers together and (implied) hide them got my fucking goat.

I miss the rule against fearmongering. I'm so sick and tired of these subs having people take a papercut and turning it into an amputation.

EDIT: They deleted and a mod thanked me for calling them out, so like, that's cool

Man, I wish people noticed when I was in a depressive, self harming downward spiral.

OP is why people hate teenagers

I saw this one, “being mentally ill doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole”.

Also, it probably is their rbf. Mom needs to get waaay the fuck over that smile more bs. It doesn’t work like that.

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