Source
r/seduction•
ge99

Being clear about attraction over periods of time, not texting enough, call more? Probably bad kino or drive? Ideas?

My dating and sex life has exploded thanks to seddit but I think I have a sticking point.

Here is where I am just to provide context:

  • No SNL's, well maybe 1.
  • Get approached in club settings ( just started going back out a night after a long break ).
  • Flake % close to zero.
  • First LJBF in 6 months a couple of days ago. Oh and get this, she set me up with her friend... how fucking cool is that? ;)
  • Very abundant. Not enough time for all the plates I'm spinning, always 2-4.
  • Always KClose, some 3rd base LMR type nights which I can't seem to blow through.

The bad:

  • Still don't get chased much, I am always the one texting or contacting.
  • I'm dating girls I really am not that into for experience.

So one common theme I've noticed is that I get a lot of comments like "oh, I didn't think you were that into me" or "you never called/texted" ( after about a week of no texts or calls.

Been pretty busy with work/holidays/other girls so I tend to only schedule a meetup every 1-2 weeks with each girl. Do you think this is hurting me? I truly am busy with fun activities and things I do and can't fill up all my nights with dating. Had 4 dates one week and it just burned me out.

I don't really try and be unavailable or have a life of mystery or anything like that. Being very literal here. I just simply have lots of things going on.

So I think my problems are:

  1. I'm not showing drive and attraction to these girls as much as I should. Maybe more grabbing them close and saying expressing my attraction or something.

  2. Drop the girls I don't like that much, free up some time for winners. I mean I do enjoy them for various reasons. Not like I'm dating ugly girls with horrible personalities just for sex.

  3. Text/call more when I'm busy for a quick hello or try to make plans. Something to keep me fresher in their minds, act more like I'm interested.

Thoughts? Comments?

Pretty sure I'm doing something wrong and I need seddit's help to figure it out.

Posted Dec 5, 2011, 4:30 AM UTC

67
Seduceher•

You can text them once in awhile just to see how they are doing, takes 10 seconds, you can even do it on the toilet. Don't tell me you're having too much fun activities to visit the restroom anymore.

3
ge99OP•

Yeah, always was of the mind that random banter text game serves no purpose but I think my lack of texting may be causing some ambiguity.

Over on the "ask women" thread some mention the little "hey how is it going" texts can make a big difference.

3
frogmaModerator•

No SNL's, well maybe 1.

BOOM. Change that. If you change that, and actually start going for it more often, you're gonna see a huge difference in everything else. For one, most girls will stay with you longer (or indefinitely), most girls will be hornier and actually fuck you, more girls will be open to other shit since the only vibe you're giving them is that you're open to sex. Shit works, guaranteed.

Nothing else sounds like a real issue except this: Always KClose, some 3rd base LMR type nights which I can't seem to blow through. That just sounds like classic LMR where you're not awesome enough to deal with it. There's at least 5 totally different ways, and I won't go over em here because I think you'll figure them out easily- just look up LMR on here or on google.

2
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
ge99OP•

Done the freeze, work the ladder, but usually I'm only getting d2/d3 lays.

Hmmm is this from a lack of disqualification? I act like boyfriend material and asd goes up too defcon 5?

1
frogmaModerator•

If you're wondering if you act like boyfriend material, then yeah, probably. I wouldn't really say disqualification is important- it's something you can do but not exactly necessary.

For a one-night-stand I'm almost exclusively focused on getting the girl really horny. A lot of times, the best/only way to do that is to make out with her, feel her up and shit. Then she's horny and the rest just happens naturally. Other times, I tease her and shit or figure out some other way to build up the sexual tension- and then I capitalize by making some legit moves when the time comes.

I'd still say you're right though- acting too much like boyfriend material can ruin anything. I know you say you've "done the freeze and worked the latter," but you really have to look at the nuances of those actions. Freeze-outs can be done in a million different ways- you can be playful and just turn face-up on the bed and smile at the ceiling until she wants to jump on you, or you can be more serious and move all the way across the room and focus on something else- depends on what works for the situation. What I literally almost always do though is pull back and re-escalate because it tends to work out. And there's technically a bunch of ways to do that too, just depending on the situation and how you wanna handle it.

1
ge99OP•

Thanks man.

Two dates this weekend. Both are going on "the plan" and I'll push sexual tension a little more than I usually do.

1