[1449] Hearts In A Bottle

A full, single-scene piece that I wrote for a writing seminar I took a year back, but I went back and revised it to add to a short story collection I'm slowly growing.

I'm looking more for general critique, except for one bit: there's an implication at the end that I hope readers pick up on, but I'm not sure if I pushed it enough (or at all, actually). That being said, I'm afraid if I mention what it is, it spoils it and makes it harder to critique on a first read. If nobody addresses it, then I would assume I didn't put enough emphasis on it, but if you do spot it, I'd appreciate it if you told me if it works or not.

My submission: Hearts In A Bottle

My Critiques:

1413 - Chapter I Part I - Wood Echoes in the Summer's Heat

591 - The Beast Called Magic (opening)