Almost moving on, but moving forward
I've written 10,000 poems, that sound more like word vomit. More than any other poem that I've ever written I am writing it for you and I'm writing it for me.
And I wrote it for the things that I've seen, the things that I've loved and cared and wished would always be in my life, but I stay here trying to speak words into life.
Trying to make sense of my words more than I've tried to make sense of myself. For the people that harbor love, but I'm left stranded on an island.
Not only does it gives me comfort, but it is the space of my greatest encapsulation. I'm writing here trying to think of a poem that would make sense for you to read.
So the 10,000 don't make you cry, but I'm crying as I wrote them. And I am crying now, so it doesn't really matter now, Whether it breaks your heart or opens it.
The only thing that I really want you to know is, that I love you. And that 10,000 poems are only going to be 10,000 more, when you decide to read them again
Posted May 31, 2021, 1:32 AM UTC
I relate to this poem's message quite well. There's a pain in miscommunication and misunderstanding--wanting to convey something crucial to you, and a recipient being unable or unwanting to connect.
It's screaming for attention within a muted glass cage.
And in the end, it doesn't end up mattering whether the poems hit right. You're left equally distanced and desperate to be understood. It's quite a struggle. It's one I'm not certain I'll ever surmount.
All you have to show for it is a bunch of poems, an assembly of words you hope will represent your being: your "word vomit." This messiness of the mind reflects deeply in your composition. But it's a hell of a source of fuel for the art.
If I were to recommend anything, it's to hone your craft and improve reading awareness. You have the spirit of a poet, the sorrow of one. But this specific work lacks concision; it felt repetitive and wordy. Sometimes a bit cliche. Less is more.
That said, I loved what your work recorded. Do keep writing.
Thank you for the words man and i did kinda write this just to get it out of me for sure. They do feel wordy sometimes and it's good others can school me on it. I truly appreciate the thoughts and the feedback :).