Nothing matters anymore

I don’t know what to do. I’ve stopped caring about anything. I don’t feel like I even care about my loved ones anymore. They were the ones that kept me going through all this, and now it feels like nothing matters.

I went to a bridge today. I stood on the edge and thought about jumping. I couldn’t do it. It was too terrifying. I now know that I need to find some other way to end my life. I researched suicide bags, and they seem like a better option.

The thing that scares me the most about this is I haven’t cried at all about it. I was completely calm as I went to the bridge, and am completely calm now. I feel like I’ve made my choice now, and there’s no turning back. It gives me peace for some reason.