[1717] Ouroboros
I am struggling a lot with the intro to this completed manuscript. In its entirety, it's about 100k words, and I am confident in a lot of it, but without a solid intro, no one's going to read past page 1. I have been back and forth between using this prologue or not, and it's hard to tell if it's necessary, or just a spoiler... Or out of place... I included a page of the second chapter to give an idea of how it is written (perspectives of 3+ different characters).
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1c37iAeOi18ksqsYo4vqs3dN706qzfWxifC-9Q2MwhUA/edit?usp=sharing
Anyways, I'd appreciate any feedback on this. Please dismantle.
UPDATE: revamped work is here:
My critique: [3825] https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/nx7613/3825_the_iron_century_chapter_one_part_one/?ref=share&ref_source=link
Posted Jun 14, 2021, 10:12 PM UTC · edited