If a girl gives you a second look or intently or purposefully (or so you think) glances at you, is that invitation to talk to her?
Newbie question perhaps but just wanted to ask, especially about my situation.
I was walking out of the subway train and I saw this cute girl out of the corner of my eye, but she was with a female friend. This was just now, late at night 5am in the morning. Basically everyone's tired, including me. Just wanting to get home, everyone wants to be left alone for the most part. Anyway, I take a quick look at her from her profile, she's cute. I walk on and I notice her glance over at me very quickly. But I don't know if that's because she knew I glanced at her. So it's unconfirmed that she's at all interested for me to even approach.
Then we're walking up directly onto street level now, I glance at her from the side again (all the while I had been behind them both, and checking the one girl out), and she glances at me directly at my face as I was looking at her - I don't think our eyes met but we definitely, at this point for just a second, were face to face looking at one another. And then she looked back in her walking direction.
Another few seconds passed while I racked my brain as to what to say, if anything at all. And mustering the courage to do so and also being discouraged that she was with her friend so feeling defeated by that too. She then turned a wrong corner while her friend kept walking straight. I followed her by turning that wrong corner.. and then she corrected herself to follow her friend. The thing is, I had already turned the wrong corner the girl was walking in originally so if I corrected to follow them, it would be obvious I was following them. Not good. So I was fucked. Should I have corrected too and just followed them? Wouldn't it have been weird? And if I were to talk to her, what could I have possibly said? And what about her friend? Am I supposed to ignore her friend entirely, which would subsequently piss her off? What would have been the way to handle this altogether?
My one thought in hindsight was to just lay it out as "Hi, were you looking at me?" (to the girl I'm into). She'd say 'yes/no' and then I'd say something like "Oh, I thought maybe you knew me or I knew you or something. Anyway, it's late so I know we all want to get home but I'd like to maybe get a drink with you sometime soon, it's good to meet people in the neighborhood" - this gets both of us off the hook quickly because we all want to get home asap anyway at 5am and I can also just get her number quickly and it's ok because I have a legitimate excuse that I don't need to talk with her for very long since it's so late. The only bad thing is what to do with her friend in this scenario. Again, I always think of the better thing to do after the situation's already passed. I hate that.
Posted Jan 15, 2012, 10:38 AM UTC · edited
Don't look for invitations to talk to people, talk to them.
Which of these two things is shittier
The same goes with asking girls for their phone #'s. Have you ever had a really good interaction with some girl you just met, then said goodbye and walked off. Then spent the rest of the day kicking yourself for not asking for her #? Isn't that shittier than the time you asked a chick for her # and she said no? And no that were here, the same logic applies to every step of the way. If your sitting there and wondering "should I...." just go for it.
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That's the thing, it all happened so quickly I didn't have the wherewithal to do it. If I could do it again, obviously. But totally impromptu like that and totally unexpected where I was honestly just trying to get home to piss and sleep, it's not on the forefront of my mind. Am I always supposed to be "on"?
And now I'm wondering "should I..." but I'm talking at the time. Because of course now that I know this, sure, I can answer the "should I" question - yes, I fucking should have. But at the time, I'm all tired and wanting to go home. Whoa suddenly cute girl - anxiety is automatically there, assumptions appear (that are correct, really) that we all just want to go home since we're all tired, and then just like a minute later, it's all over - hardly enough time to wake up and do what is now obvious. If they had gone the wrong corner way and just kept walking and I was behind them, I maybe could have worked it up enough to do it but it was over too soon to do much
Honestly you were in kind of a shaddy spot. Following a chick that late at night will creep them out. We both know you weren't following them to be a creeper or do anything to them. But late at night and alone woman get pretty nervous around guys they don't know. A smile and a hi as you are passing fine. But running to catch up with them will probably just scare the shit out of them. Turning around to follow them would have been even scarier. At that time of night you're best option is almost the hail mary type "hey I'm pretty tired and need to get home, but you seem like you could be cool. Let me get your number so we can meet somewhere that's less creepy than this subway station. Oh by the way I'm cryer" Its not ideal but its late, she's trying to get home with a friend and you don't have time for small talk.
Hmm not bad.. and you're right, that late at night is kind of creepy if i had followed. but she was also with a friend.. if i say what you said, it would have ignored her friend, that's probably not good right?