Fickle Foundations

Hi OP, a beautiful heartfelt poem, thank you for sharing. I interpreted it as the end of a relationship that leaves the narrator emotional exhausted to the point of collapse.  I really enjoy the alliteration you have used throughout, “fickle foundations”, “huffing heave”, and “good grief” are some of my favourites.

The rhyming worked really well in some places
but other lines felt a little forced. I didn’t enjoy the rhythm of the line “before
the intermission”.  On the other hand, the rhythm and rhymes in the first two paragraphs worked really well, I felt.
I like your description of “paltry bluffed rage”.  This was very emotive for me. It evoked the idea of forcing anger as a way of deflecting guilt or other emotions.
The first time I read “hammering padded souls” I didn’t understand the meaning but on re-reading it realised you were probably describing the motion of walking. I liked the subtly of that.
I wonder what you meant by “you’re always nauseous”, and what you wanted that line convey.  It left me curious, maybe you can flesh this feeling out further?
I like the final paragraph, it paints a picture and packs a punch.  I wonder why you switched between porcelain and linoleum? Linoleum being much softer and less likely to crack.
After reading some of the comments I realised the theatre theme throughout. This is weaved in quite nicely.  This cast the poem in a new light but also leaves me wondering how to interpret it. That’s not necessarily a criticism unless you had intended it to be more explicit for the reader.  Best of luck with your poetry and thanks for sharing!   

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I'm not sure what I think of this, so I'm going to describe what happened as I read it. The beginning started out quite rythmic and the 'take center stage before you leave' made me feel like it was going to be a kind of grand goodbye. But then it trailed into a more confused/confusing stream of imagery where I'm not sure what the story is anymore. There at least seems to be a me and a you character, and maybe one is on the linoleum tiles and the other on porcelain? In the end it felt like it was more about a very tiring stage performance. It felt thoughtful, but I can't make out what the thoughts were, if that makes sense.

I understood it as a breakup? I could be way off. Some kind of falling out though.

I hope I got it, I enjoyed it in the way I did. The beginning ties very nicely into the end.

I enjoy the rhythm of it. When I first read it, I thought it was about a fight/domestic abuse -- a stand out audition for a killer (I see what you did there, I think) ...piece of fiction. I appreciate how you weave the theater theme throughout. I guess a little more clarity in what the poem is about could help us sit back and relax and read it instead of questioning if we're following the story. Maybe even just a title that tells us what it's about? Although fickle is a cool word and foundation brings the alliteration :).