Daycare Transition
Our 2.5 yo started daycare this month. She was supposed to start around 18 months but then covid happened and she's been at home until July. She had a tough transition which I know is normal and would cry (not at drop off but later in the morning). After doing half days for 2 weeks (she stopped crying hard after the first week and would still cry but on and off) , she finally moved to full days the 3rd week and managed 3 days with some crying until she got sick and didn't return for 4 days. We were nervous about her first day back but she had her best day! She didn't cry, she took a nap, and made it the whole day. We thought maybe she was adjusting but the passed few days we've been called to pick her up early as she is crying hard and wouldn't eat lunch.
We've also noticed that she's been more of a handful at home - bigger tantrums, being super clingy, etc. She never used to have separation anxiety with the grandparents but has starting showing it since starting daycare. I've realized that she needs extra comfort and feel more secure so I've been making a bigger effort to connect and comfort her at home.
Has anyone else had issues like this or have any tips? I feel terrible that she doesn't feel secure right now and is having so much separation anxiety. I also don't want her to cry just because she knows she'll get picked up early as it's quite a struggle to work from home with her being extra clingy. I knew the transition would be difficult for her but wasn't quite expecting it to go this long nor for her to regress a month in.
Any advice is much appreciated! TIA
Posted Jul 29, 2021, 6:19 PM UTC · edited
We are going through this right now with my son who is 2.5 and also just started daycare two months ago for the first time. He's a really strong kiddo and nothing really has seemed to bother him before in the past (even like, teething) so we were very daunted when he basically fell apart after starting daycare.
He goes three days a week and it basically triggered a major regression. Major meltdowns at home, nightmares / night wakings, confusion and anger every day, even on non school days.
The folks at daycare said he was hitting a little bit (a HUGE issue at home but had never been bad away from his baby brother) and that he wasn't sleeping, and was really struggling to adjust, but they weren't worried - they said they see this all the time and it would end, and finally, it seems to be ending.
Just for the last week or so, he's started looking forward to school, and stopped sobbing the whole way there and fighting it. The last two times we picked him up, he didn't even want to leave, and they said he's a new boy, totally turned around.
He's still really, really tough at home - hitting, kicking, melting down a lot, but maybe that will start to fall in line, too?
Some of the things my pediatrician suggested that we were about to implement:
- Track school days on a calendar and give them a crayon to X off days themselves every night
- Give them something of yours to look at while they're at school - a little book with photos, a scrunchie to keep around their wrist, something
- Be really clear about who is picking him up - not just "we'll be back for you at 4" but "mama is picking up up today" or "daddy and grandma will pick you up" etc so they see you are being consistent and dependable
That's all I got. I hope it passes soon because it is BRUTAL. You're definitely doing the right thing though, stick with it...
Thank you so much. It's encouraging to hear that your son is finally adjusting. I knew it'd be hard especially being covid kids with limited social interaction but I didn't expect it to be quite this long.
We've definitely got hitting going on at home and I've been trying to downplay my reaction to it and instead say the emotion they're likely feeling (as per BigLittleFeelings).
I love the calendar idea. I will definitely implement this starting next week. I will also look for a personal item for her to take and continue to set her expectations for pick up. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond! It truly means a lot and you've been so helpful. Hope he starts settling down at home as well!