[3289] Impotence of gods: Story of Bec, Chapter 0

Behold, the greatest work of fiction you'll read in the next ten minutes:

Impotence of gods: Story of Bec, Chapter 0

Critique (2839)

Critique (5052)

Some questions:

!I know that it's generally bad to start a story from the point of view of a character who then immediately dies. But I did it anyway. Does it work? If it doesn't work, is there any way that I can make it work? I did it because I want Bec's use of magic to be a bit mysterious at first, which I figure it would not be if you saw it from Bec's point of view.!<

!Is the dialogue cringy? I feel like it might be. If so how would you fix it?!<

!Is it too dark and dreary? Does it feel overly dramatic or excessive? Should I break up the dreariness with happy things? if so how would you do that?!<

!Does it feel like the chapter jumps from scene to scene too much, without enough filler inbetween the scenes?!<

!Is it obvious that Bec is a necromancer?!<

Thanks in advance for the brutally honest review!