[992] Surviving Dusk

Hello! This is kind of the introduction to a story I've been playing around with. Please let me know what you guys think. I'm trying to become a better writer so anything will help!

Here's my story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SdMGgf115rpNC5u7hrMtswpM64nlQq2rJ3ARYDWpxWg/edit?usp=sharing

Here's my critique: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/p58ymf/2025_once_upon_a_time_in_gaza/h96838u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Thank you.