Feminization and Gay BDSM

I hold a different perspective than you. Yes the gay, especially leather BDSM Community, sees masculinity in high regard. I see the appeal of feminization for exactly that reason. A regular guy being feminized, humiliated is the very essence of power exchange.

The act of feminization as humiliation doesn’t really do it for me from the dom or sub perspective. I’m not really into the sissification realm of it, which I always interpreted as feminization of a man emphasizing his “weakness”. Buuut what I could see being really sexy and fun is like a “brash jock making the subby guy his bitch” scenario. Yiff alert but this comic is pretty much what I’m talking about. It’s less emphasizing feminization as weakness and humiliation, but emphasizing it more as submissiveness. See what I mean?

I mean, the gay community generally holds traditional ideals of masculinity to be desirable amd femininity as undesirable, so it's not surprising to see this trend compounded in the gay leather/kink community. Even if you take out the BDSM dynamics, this indifference/distaste for the feminine still remains.

Our BDSM/leather community is one that idealizes masculinity and masculine stereotypes

Interestingly, I've had the exact opposite experience. I've mostly interacted with bisexual/pansexual men, and they have nearly unanimously been attracted to extremely feminine presenting males. Now, as I said, these are bisexual/pansexual guys, typically leaning more towards being attracted to women than men. But for a few of them, it really doesn't matter about the person's sex, just that the are feminine presenting. To put it shortly, they are attracted to femininity above all else, with the person's sex being secondary. So I suspect that has something to do with it. Another slight difference may be their involvement in BDSM. They have all dabbled in it, and enjoy domming to various degrees and intensities, but isn't something they do all the time. That is to say that they may not be as influenced by whatever trends or norms the community as a whole adheres to.

Now, as for me, I like the idea of it for two main reasons. The first is for the humiliation aspect. The second would be related to my gender identity (myself being bigender). Sometimes I just feel more feminine, and would like to present that way. Naturally, however, these two are mutually exclusive.

I have been thinking about this for quite a while lately. And I am of the view that feminization kink is beautiful. Personally, I have come to realize that being feminized in a safe space helps me accept myself and my inner femininity. Isn't that a beautiful thing, although on the superficial aspect it may seem like humiliation and emasculating to decrease your "power" or whatever? The essence of the play and what you get out of it are important. If the dom thinks he is "superior" because he is masculine even OUTSIDE of the play, that's problematic I would say? But I guess there's more to it as well? I don't know. I am still exploring.

Amidst the people looking for masculinity everywhere, feminization kink has the potential to explore and celebrate femininity. Who is actually perpetuating misogyny? The guys who think feminization kink is inherently humiliating(and goes on to look only for "masculine" guys while rejecting feminine guys) or the guys who take the humiliation and change it into a beautiful thing? We can't say for sure. There's a lot of layers to this topic.

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