Source
r/OCPoetry•
Podroig

My Devil, Lucifer

The devil isn’t a dark towering figure and he

doesn’t hold powers unknown to man.

I know because I’ve met him.

He sits in the employment office,

just off king street.

And he eats all cheese sandwiches

on his break and listens to Mozart’s fifth,

hopeful to suggest some semblance of refinement.

The devil is also your neighbour

and also the perverted priest.

The devil is arrogant and sleazy and tasteless.

And so much worse.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/p8ezu9/abstract_poem/h9u8py5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/p8hlzq/data_recognition_corporation/h9u8llk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 - my poem was inspired by this poem !

Posted Aug 21, 2021, 10:21 PM UTC · edited

15
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1
MaxDemian•

Great job. I think this is a concept that many of us are contemplating right now - what is the nature of evil? Who is the source of darkness in our society? Etc, etc. I love the idea of the man eating cheese sandwiches. He seems like someone who is indifferent to our suffering, and only concerned with appearances. One can imagine that the neighbor and priest are the same. I’ve heard it said that the opposite of love is indifference.

In the eighth line, I think the word you want is semblance (appearance) rather than sibilance (probably just an autocorrect error). Also, Mozart’s Fifth is a strange choice. Mozart wrote many more symphonies than most, so his 5th came at just nine years old. I would suggest changing that.

1
PodroigOP•

Thank you ! Yeh I meant semblance thanks. And I chose Mozart’s fifth as I wanted a really generic and well known piece, to put across the fact that he uses a very well know and generic piece of classical music, to attempt to demonstrate his civility and supposed cultural refinement. When in reality this is merely a facade and he uses the first and most well known piece of Mozart to suggest he holds these tastes, in actual fact knowing little beyond Mozart’s fifth

1
MaxDemian•

Mozart’s Fifth is not well known. In fact, it is never performed and rarely recorded. Maybe you meant Beethoven’s Fifth? That is more along the lines of what you’re describing.

1
TestWilling8383•

The devil is him. Jordan

1