The Battle

The first stanza and the second stanza end with a line that says the same thing, which seems like a waste in a writing medium where space is at a premium. The first two stanzas were much more vivid than the last two. There was hinting, and symbolism, and it left room for the imagination to fill in the images. Then on the third stanza it devolved to generic lines like “god I’m so tired” and “I wish I could disappear”, which don’t hook you as much. The 4th stanza also doesn’t say much, especially after the 3rd one, so that made the ending not impactful for me.

I do like the general idea, and the start was good.

I like this one. Its truly haunting as I feel like i know what that "IT" is as well. The breaks really helped space it out, and keeping the ending to just three lines drives the idea home. The feeling of just vanishing is very prominent, great work <3

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I was hooked and invested in the middle, but then it ended a little too soon. I feel like you could add more to it before the end. Maybe describe what the battle is like and all the hurdles that come with it because I felt the dread when you wrote “here it comes again “, but then that kinda just faded away and the poem ended ,if that makes sense. I feel like this could take your work from good to great just by adding 2-3 more lines. Adding a couple more line can also make the reader feel the same tiredness you are feeling and add more to the ending because we went on this journey/ride with you in a sense. Those are just my nitpicks, Overall I really enjoyed it.