[1751] Goodbye Horses

Hi guys,

My story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zmH7Bgi3SBircGthizEebo7pxWu-DvpTnxh40oC5SMw/edit?usp=sharing

This is the first draft of something I just started on. All my stories are connected with each other. They are all parts of longer series. All of these characters have appeared in other works of mine.
Be warned, my universe is not a nice place. I don't write stories about nice people doing wholesome things with other nice people. The world is a scary place, and that's what I focus on. And I'm female. I'm not some incel who hates women.
Also, keep in mind this is not the whole story. This is just the first part of it. Where it ends here is not the ending. It's just where I left off for this submission.
Thanks in advance for the feedback. I love all feedback even if negative. Feel free to be harsh. Rip it to pieces. It makes my writing better.
Thanks, V.

My last crit: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/pigdzm/1653_incels_in_2303/hbqhri5/?context=3

This is for a story that's a little shorter than my submission. But my last crit before this one was for a story that was about 500 words long. I contacted the mods about this, just in case anyone has any issues with that.

My crit for the longer submission is here: https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/paorba/2601_modern_gothic_chapter_one/hacf6yw/ I had to break this one up into two parts because it was so long. This is only the first part. THe second part is right below this one in the thread.