[1,299] BIG SCIFI STORY

Hello, this is my second attempt at SCIFI. I've got the rest of the story planned but this is all the I've written. I'm just curious as to whether or not this opening works; in terms of setting the characters and pacing and what not.

I'd appreciate any criticisms, but most importantly I would like comments on—

-were the characters interesting? Were you interested in them? Does the dynamic seem like it could work and should I shift the perspectives around—as in should I place more emphasis on a certain characters view.

-is the plot intriguing so far?

-is prose good?

That's all. Thanks a bunch!

Submission

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1InnXIvBHZrfTO1mmTRmGlXGtqoSsQRrRWEHOQ4Y16BI/edit?usp=drivesdk

Critiques https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/p31jca/2435_partial_chapter_1_silence_in_the_sands_ver_2/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/p31jca/2435_partial_chapter_1_silence_in_the_sands_ver_2/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share