[2462] To Conquer a Single Mongol

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This is a story I've been working on for a little bit. Just looking for general thoughts on the prose/flow/structure. Thank you in advance for reading and happy destroying.

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Story:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1T6ert0Ae03lVechtBiY6jGFOjTNAcXWYwoaWU1dCmtc/edit?usp=sharing

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Crit [2834]:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/q640nr/comment/hgag3xn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3