[3357] Monsters on Mars (part 5 and 6)

Hi all,

It's me again.

Welcome to parts 5 and 6 /10 of my Martian monster story!

STORY:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-0nawyLhKEcMVOcirc9TpNUg5i7EEQ2BiNHCbxvmfLo/edit

Last time I asked how well or poorly I did the suspense, and I guess the same question applies to part 5 and 6.

PREVIOUSLY on Monsters on Mars:

Astrid has returned home to planet Earth after 10 years of working on Mars and she's not doing well (vignettes, present tense), while on mars: after fixing the blastabomb machine and detonating a wall in the mine a dozen illegal workers are discovered. In the ensuing aftermath Astrid hears alien sounds coming from inside the exposed tunnel, and is convinced something far more sinister than exploited workers is lurking there... (main story, past tense)

CRITIQUES:

(3120)

https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/qpvci8/3120_the_day_the_thunder_stopped/hjx0bpt/

(3016)

https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/qp2aqe/3016_his_feet_shall_not_touch_the_ground/hjtx1fa/

Thanks in advance to anyone who reads or leaves a comment/feedback. It's super appreciated.