[100] Capturing Beauty | Drabble |

Hey all, I'm new to this subreddit so make sure to welcome me with some blunt, brutal and harsh critique!

To start off, I'm submitting a drabble. Exactly 100 words. I just write them to get better at explaining what I want to in a clipped, concise manner. Most of the time it doesn't translate well. I find the story lacking and unsatisfying. But I'm gonna put one here anyway :P

Since it's just a hundred words, I'll post it directly. But if someone prefers a gdoc link, comment and I'll pass it onto you with a reply (if that's not against any sub rules).

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Capturing Beauty

Hiding behind the shed, Jenna tells Ella about her lovely sunflower for the hundredth time.

"I know I know. It has petals as yellow as the sun itself," Ella rolls her eyes. "But are you ever planning on showing it to me?"

It's two weeks later that Jenna finally shows her friend the gardening wonder that she'd rambled on and on about for hours on end.

Ella looks at the bright leaves that turn mustard towards the grainy centre. Eyes wide in awe, she traces her gaze across the green and amber.

"I didn't know your sunflower was a painting."

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What I'm looking for apart from general areas of critique:

• Does the title add to the story? Does it help you understand the story's theme? If not, do you have any suggestions?

• Does the drabble end at an unsatisfactory and/or pointless note? If so, why?

• Does the story not convey what it wants to in the given word count? If not, is there a way I can improve it?

Here's my critique[448 words]:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/qxkx07/448_first_time_posting_test_run/hla83zj?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

That's all for now! Thank you! :))