“ Rootless, Wingless”

“ Rootless, Wingless”

I was born a blind

And groping thing,

Covered in feathers and hopes,

Eyes blue and open.

My wings were shorn off as a yearling

And bravery flowed like blood from my body.

I learned the meaning of fear by heart

As I fell like a stone from the heavens.

I never wanted to be alone

But aloneness clung to me.

By knee crook and wing stump,

It clothed me.

I stood stock still in place

From the age of six upwards.

Afraid of change,

Afraid, afraid, afraid

Clothed in fear and perfectionism

Which only taught me to bite my nails later.

I never belonged tied down

But every time I try to build my own home

I am uprooted.

I have never left any good thing on my own terms

But am herded by crook and claw and anguish

Goodbyes pulled out like cries subdued by blankets

To muffle their heavy sounds.

Each toe sunk downward,

Each investment blindly made

Is pulled up and blown away

Chaff in the wind without wings

To guide myself upwards or onwards

To more.

​

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https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/r0cwp3/broke_neck_rabbit/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/r0bxh2/from_a_strictly_esthetic_point_of_view/

Posted Nov 23, 2021, 2:14 PM UTC

113
99mlee•

oof this one feels personal. i love how you can feel the physical “upward” lift as the poem reaches its end. the beginning is the downfall, the use of “thing” really delivers an emotional sucker punch. the end is a little empty, in a good way, a way that doubles down on the emotional message i received. it feels like a personal reassurance, a reminder that things will be better even if the good things are being left behind. it’s a very lonely poem that’s easy to find multiple meanings in—some people may find the ending uplifting but others, like me, might feel something of dread. idk if that’s the intended effect but i love it!!

2
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1
loaamiera•

I really love the reference to a fall from heaven! This poem is really beautiful.

However, I think that everything after the line "I am uprooted" could be removed. I think the poem would hit harder since the details would be left for us to pull out in our minds. You did a good job of setting up the poem so that we can infer that you never get to leave on your own terms or have anything good.

Your use of metaphors and similes is excellent!

1