[3714] Mala-of-mine (Stone Age Novella - Part One)
Hello everybody. This is part one of a novella I'm writing, that follows a feminist interpretation of how the wheel was invented. The basic premise is a little girl gets the idea for a basic wheel and accidentally puts her mother in serious danger. The novella follows four days in the life of the main character, so this is day one. The story also plays with language through the dialogue, so it's a mix of English and Proto-Balto-Slavic.
My main concern is whether the story is comprehensible at this point, and I do have a feeling that I over-tell a lot of things because of this worry. I'm also curious about character and world-building initial impressions. Any feedback would be great, especially since I'm trying to send this as part of my MFA portfolio in a few weeks. Thanks so much in advance!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/100BCJWsfdSm6VYb1HkLyBavu8bAiINnMxCdnqAMH7r4/edit?usp=sharing
My critiques are below (I checked with a mod to use the older ones, so I'm placing both of the older ones and a newer one and I'll use up the entire word count for this submission):
Posted Dec 3, 2021, 1:11 PM UTC