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Oh, that's really good.

The beat and flow of it really work for me. Flows so perfectly, effortlessly, like reading soft silk.

I really like it towards the end; it gathers up a bit more pace and really climaxes.

I love this and enjoyed having to read through a few time to fully grasp it, which is a hallmark of a good poem I think! Something that stood out for me was that some lines are sort of ambiguous and evoke a bit of confusion with the imagery in this poem, like the ‘reduce your mind like a nocturnal cat’ For me, I feel like I had to think too much about meanings of certain lines and it interrupted the flow in some places. I think those lines would be less awkward if the imagery was sort of instantaneous and less confusing. But that’s very minimal. Mostly you have manage to evoke very strong concepts and states in me, my favourite is “there is no religion       which I can savour or blame” It’s such like desperate hopelessness that so many people will be familiar with, I love it. Well done!

As someone who works night shift, I can relate. I really like 'Lie where sleep lies" and "reduce your mind.." . May consider changing "or blame" to "nor blame". but either way I like it!

The jailor ties my hands, legs, feet,

and leads me to the suspended blade.

Mind and metal both bow to his command.

Lie where sleep lies, he orders.

Close your eyes as fate closes his.

Reduce your mind like a nocturnal cat

that sheds its coat in darkness. The clock

blinks twice, its hands slinking like spies

along midnight’s spine.

There is no religion

which I can savor or blame.

Perhaps, from now on, all gods

will come in the form of a pill.

Say to me: tomorrow will be kinder, softer,

and more forgiving. The executioner

opens the trapdoor. Say morning will come

swiftly and gently, like a cloud from heaven.

Say it quickly as I plunge

into death’s lightest darkness.

&amp;#x200B;

\[1\] [https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/r8m2kp/comment/hn7ik8y/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/r8m2kp/comment/hn7ik8y/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

\[2\] [https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/r8iql5/comment/hn7gkv0/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/r8iql5/comment/hn7gkv0/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

Melatonin