Mentor: solaritybusk, F21, AMA

If you'd like, you can take a look at my introduction post. I'll expound a little more on here. :)

Overview for the Lazy

• 21, female, Tennessee

• Musician, soon-to-be English major

• LGBT, monogamous, and polyamory-friendly (once participated in an MFF relationship)

• Main focus is on self-improvement before dragging someone else into your life.

• Confidence and communication are sexy!

About Me

I'm a 21-year-old soon-to-be English major from Tennessee. I'm a musician, a singer/songwriter, and a performer, so I'm used to large crowds of strangers (the most I've played for was 1,000+). I'm currently in an over-6-month-long-and-going-strong relationship with an aspiring stand-up comedian -- sounds like a short amount of time, yes, but considering most of his relationships before me topped out at 2 months, I consider this an accomplishment.

I live with my mum (tough economy, yeah?) I'm job hunting (should have word on a potential part-time come Monday), am teaching cello lessons to younger kids, and will be attending college in the Fall.

Experience and Expertise

My first relationship was with a girl. It had a slow, confusing start, but lasted about two years, and was the most rewarding and the most detrimental time of my life. My second (and current) relationship is with a guy. With these two people, I've participated in a polyamorous relationship that simply didn't work out in the end.

My greatest attribute is my arbitrary nature. I'm good at smoothing over arguments, taking in multiple perspectives in a situation, and maintaining a humble (though high) confidence.

Why do you want to do this?

I have a lot of advice to give. If I can just change one person's perspective for the better, then I'll feel accomplished and all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

My Relationship Beliefs

I'm not the "dating around" type. Pursuit is not my area of expertise. What I believe is that the individual must be of a sound mental and emotional state before engaging in something so sticky as a relationship. If you have problems, your partner will not fix you. The goal of a relationship is to make the other person happy, while still balancing a healthy ego and having a good sense of self-respect. Recognizing your needs and expressing them in a collected manner creates a safe environment for you and your potential boyfriend/girlfriend.

Communication! That will always be my first tidbit of advice. On my very first date with my current boyfriend, I informed him that I was in an open relationship with a woman at the time. This blatant honesty led to an MFF threesome. Good things come to those who communicate with confidence. ;)

Who I Can Help

People with low self-esteem. Pessimists. Those who think, "I'm just not dating material," or, "I'm not interesting/funny/[insert other personal attribute] enough." People who are stuck on that first step, and those who are terrified of all those fish in that big, bad ocean.

Also, for those interested in an alternative dating lifestyle (polyamory), there are about a million emotional roadblocks I can help you face and understand while pursuing that path. The same rules apply for those interested in strictly monogamous relationships -- I have nothing against either. :)

Ask Me Anything!