[F32] Some tips and advice from a 13 year free use veteran

For those of you who need a background on my particular flavor of free use, please go look at my other posts in which I outline my lifestyle in detail. The TL;DR though is I am free use to any cock that wants me, with only minor restrictions. I’ve been this way since I was 19.

Since posting my story I’ve received a few messages on what basically boils down to as a requests for advice and tips on making this work. I decided to collect my advice in a single post so others can learn. The tips were built around my free use lifestyle, which I accept may not translate well to some situations. However, I think more info is better and hope you appreciate my word is not gospel. I do however think I’m right :p

I’ve broke it down to two sections, one advice for free use women and another, smaller, list for the men who want to use.

My advice for the free use women:

• “No, you didn’t have a bad hookup”: The idea of a “bad hookup” is an unconstructive thought process. You’re saying an abstract event was bad to shift the blame. It’s like saying you’re mad because of a “bad test” when you failed to study. Telling yourself this is treating a hookup like something you buy from the store, get home only to realize it went bad. Here’s how to think about it: if the guy was satisfied with no complaints, you should be happy. That is your goal, right? And If it doesn’t satisfy you then YOU need to handle that. Maybe he’s rough, maybe he’s a bit rude, maybe he inconvenienced you, maybe he tried something new and you were unprepared. Regardless, it’s on you. You’re free use and part of the game is to work through that. It’s part of the adventure. If the man is not happy with you, then clearly you’ve dropped the ball. They’ll be other opportunities, but try, try, try and just focus on getting better. It never really end. You’ll never stop learning and improving, but that’s only possible if you stop shifting the blame.

• “It’s ok to be a little intoxicated”: Let’s be real here. At some point you’re going to be really tired, frustrated, and frankly a bit sore with the demands for your attention. I give the example of sucking dick for a long time. Your jaw hurts, you’re getting tired, you want to stop. Understandable, but your goal is to be better than that if you don’t want to disappoint. I’ve found that taking “your poison” (whatever helps) can get you through a long night. I like to get a little high or drunk. Not enough to incapacitate, but enough to take the edge off. I can’t emphasize enough how much more I can handle when, frankly, I’m not completely sober. It works a treat.

• “Be desirable”: you know how to look good, right? Exercise, good diet, nice hair, good makeup application. There should be no pubic hair on your body. Maybe some men like hair, but most don’t. You should be smooth. Make sure you’re as ready as you can be to when needed. Oh, and make sure your butt is clean. They are called anal douches btw. You can even get shower attachments :)

• “Men cheat. Embrace and enable”: You should never feel guilty for serving someone who wants you. You’re not the guilty party if a man chooses to cheat, you’re just there to satisfy something he wanted to do anyway. He had already decided to cheat the moment he had tried to have sex with you. It’s done. As a free use girl, you should let him enjoy you as best you can. Never judge. His sexual desires are valid and not to be pushed away. Men are tired of that. His partner failed to give him what he needs in this regard. Her fault, not yours. Feel pride in being there for him, for making him happy, giving him what he wants. And to put a more positive spin on it: one thing I’ve found is cheating can strengthen relationships. Yes! Really! One girl for sex, another as a partner. The partner need not be pestered with sex she doesn’t want give and the man is no longer sexually frustrated. I’ve seen this many times. As long as the secret is kept, things work out for the better. Everyone is happier. Oh, and let’s not side-step the fact that it’s deeply satisfying to be used by a taken man. Some of my favorite men have been sneaking away for years now.

• “You’re not masturbating enough”: I don’t claim to know the science, but here’s my thought process: the more you masturbate, the more you orgasm. The more you orgasm, the more your body gets hooked to the orgasm feel-goods. The more your body gets hooked, the more sexual and horny you’ll get. The more sexual and horny you get, the more fun you’ll have as free use and the more fun you’ll be to others. That’s something I believe. Your body can be trained to be more sexual. Men are limited. They can only orgasm so many times before their dick gives up. Woman are less restricted. Even if you read this and think it’s crap; appreciate that doing it more fills your life and home with more sexual pleasure. It’s another sexual act to carry out. Alone or in front of others. As free use you should ideally feel no difference between being watched in your home or doing it alone. Remember, men like to see women orgasm. Even if they aren’t horny, they like the show. The goal is for masturbation to be just a little more frequent (yes, uncomfortably so) than your body really wants you to.Maybe you enter as a once-day-girl. Well, go for three times in a day. Easy or hard? If it’s easy, add another. An easy, carefree orgasm probably means you’ve got gas in the tank to spare. You can go further. If it’s a little hard to achieve, you’re on the right track. If you have to force out an orgasm with a big physics effort, good, make sure it stays challenging. You can make it fun by playing games with your partner. I used to text my partner every time I came and he’d comment on whether I was doing enough. I know one girl whose Bf sets a strict schedule via alarms on her phone. Her phone buzzes and she stops what she’s doing and brings herself to orgasm. Every so often the schedule is made more challenging. Regardless as to how you go about it, over time your body adjusts and you do more. Eventually you might drop the games. These days I m feel a great satisfaction in ripping an orgasm from my body. It’s work, it’s hard, but there’s a payoff. It floods your brain with feel good chemicals. It’s honestly the best drug there is. I can say, hand in heart, I feel weird if I can’t do it as often as I’m used to. I masturbate very frequently out of habit, it’s second nature. I work in an office and do it in the restroom on my breaks. It’s something I do when that little thought goes through my head “huh, I’m not really doing anything. What should I do?”. It’s barely a thought anymore. It’s just built in. It fills time. Waiting for coffee to brew? What are you waiting for? Watching TV? You can watch and play with yourself at the same time. Wake up in the middle of the night? Perfect. It helps with sleep. Sometimes I like to think that my body is also free use to me “fucking myself”, in a manner of speaking :).

• “Don’t worry too much about STIs”: Ok, I get it, not sexy. These guys just wanting JO material can skip this. Ok, it’s a bummer, not welcome, but don’t sweat. Tell your doctor you engage in risky regular sex. Lie and say you’ve got a partner who’s HIV and you want to be extra safe so you get on PREP (a once-a-day pill that stops HIV infection). For all you know it may not even by a lie. Schedule STI screens for once a month. Get the works. If there’s a positive, inform the men. You may lose some, I have before. STIs can ruin a connection. But most are understanding. The men should all know you’re free use and what that means. If they want to wear a condom, they can. They made a choice. If you’re infected, take your medicine and be a shut in. For a bit. Then get back to your life. I’m lucky to have this all covered by insurance. If you don’t, look out for local free screening centers. Most major cities have them run by charities. Prep is a generic drug now, it’s it shouldn’t be too pricey.

• “All men deserve satisfaction”: it’s corny to say but men are all the same on the inside. The hotty of your dream has the same needs and wants as the uggo from your nightmare. Embrace and get over shallow expectations. Trust me, you’ll learn to love them all.Big dicks, small dicks, cut, uncut, chubby, thin, 18 to 85, all races. If they want you, that is enough. That’s literally free use. The beauty you should look for is them wanting you; sexually desiring you. Isn’t that the best thing there is? You are the woman of their dreams. Here’s a test for you: Put some sexy photos on tinder, you don’t need to show your face, just enough so they know how your body is. State in your profile if you match you’ll be willing fuck however they want. Don’t filter out any age. Leave it for a few days to attract an audience. Now, you play. For each profile you look at them, really look at them, and tell yourself to swipe right. Know the consequence of the swipe. Know it means, “YES, I will” and you will most likely fuck them soon. Yes, your immature brain may tell you to skip this guys and move on for this and that reason, but that’s the challenge. If you swipe left you have failed. You haven’t gotten over yourself yet.The first match wins the prize. Find time to accommodate other matches later if they are multiple ones that come in later.

• “All men want you. Society doesn’t”: Men love sluts. Get most men alone with a sexy slutty girl and they’ll do anything to be with them. However, Men in a group, as a society, are conditioned to lie and turn their nose up at women who give it easily. It’s like brainwashing. Men are brought up to believe slutty girls are bad while wanting nothing more than that. Are we to believe it’s a man’s deepest desire to have a prudish wife? Really? This theory can be applied to many areas of free use, but in general, I’ve found it’s good let men have you in private if they want. Private channels for communications, let one guy at a time come up and talk to you at the bar. It gives him confidence to really want you, and to feels safe with you. A man will let you know he wants you when he’s not surrounded by his peers and know he can say it without stigma. Let him have what he wants. Let those groups call you a slut while you know deep down every one of them would plow you. Yes, it is discrimination, but we should learn to ignore it.

• “Men come and go. It’s ok”: Some will be in your life for just one encounter, some days, others weeks, months, and years. Most will drop off eventually. Some will drop by three times a week. Some, once a year. Life just happens and changes. They move, you move, they gradually forget about you, and yes, they may just bore of you. You should, of course, aim to remain interesting but some things you can’t stop. You saw the men through the time they needed you. That’s what you want. With some luck, some will become great friends but lots wont. I keep a notebook of guys I’ve met over the years. It’s not complete (I forget to update it often), it’s not ordered well (pages are by person, not encounter… which in hindsight isn’t great because the timeline gets messy), and it’s full of small notes about encounters that happened and roughly what we did but seldom much else unless something really wild happened. But it’s not about record keeping, it’s something you can flick through and trigger memories. A “oh yeah! Him! I’d forgot about that night!”. I know it sounds a bit silly (maybe even creepy) but it puts things in perspective sometimes. Things will change. It’s ok. Good times were had.

• “OMG, just say yes”: I get so many messages, and see so many posts, from girls that are in the format of “I have this opportunity/offer/request Bla bla bla, but should I take it?” Yes, the answer is yes. If he wants you, you go for it. You’ll have your own free use rules (see my rules in my other post for an example), but if no rule is being broken in the way you’re running your free use lifestyle, then yes, do it. You’re questioning yourself out of fear, that’s all. Sure, whatever you’re agreeing to might suck, you might hate it, but you’ll learn and grow. It also might be great. Either way, It’ll be an experience, and that’s all life is at the end of the day— experiences. The biggest regrets are always the things you didn’t do. That’s the essence of free use. You just say yes!

Advice for men interacting with free use:

• “You are free”: if you are with a free use girl, remember that you are free!!! Men, in modern society, are so bound by expectations, protocol, rules, and procedures when it comes to sex and women. Free use is the erasure of these. It’s totally counter to almost everything you’ve embedded in your brain. You don’t need to obey them. Some men, even men who really want a free use girl, struggle with this. They are still ashamed of what they want, and that’s, honestly, sad. They have desires but are scared that by chasing them they are breaking rule. If you’ve always wanted to slap a girl and use her ass, Well, go enjoy. Take your fill. Do you Feel that your life would be a tiny microscopic speck better having the girl sucking on your balls for the next 30 minutes? The math checks out. Ask her to. I don’t know what else to say, honestly, I’ve just seen it a lot over the years. Guys still restricting themselves. Over time these barriers do break down, but it can take time.

• “Good girl”: If she did a good job, she’ll appreciate being told so. It’s Positive reinforcement and will help her get better. Women really like pats on the head and validation for what they do, and that positive feedback will make them better for you. If you think things are going really well, a gift is cool. You’re not obligated to, but keep it in mind. Feedback is how you’ll guide her. You’re also free to tell her of your disappointments. If she’s good she’ll take it to heart.

• “It’s ok to cheat”: [see my post in the other section regarding free use women as background] . You should know, that it’s ok to cheat. If you want to cheat, why haven’t you already? What’s so moral about saying “oh I really want to have that girl, and not my wife, but I won’t go for it “. You’ve already admitted to yourself your true desires and you’re pretending like not acting on them means they don’t exist. Even if you don’t buy into this logic: you have one life. One short life. I think you should enjoy it. My tip for men is to keep a hidden chat app on your phone (Signal, Telegram, etc.), just for your girl. No notifications. Let your other chat apps sync to places (iPad or whatever) so your partner can see. Let her spy and see there’s nothing to worry about. Be careful of tracking apps (“Find My” apple app for example) and formulate your excuses and Alibis in advance. But really, men do it all the time. Just go for it. Two years ago a guy used me over the better part of a day while his wife was in labor with his first child. Some kind of “Held up at work, can’t leave” excuse was made. That’s all it took. Pretty crazy, right? Think he’s a scumbag? Well, ok, you can think that, but I think of him as a man who didn’t see the point in being there, wasting his time being of no help, had an excuse that she’d believe, and decided to enjoy himself for a bit. The baby was born, the wife was alone but understood, and they are a big ole’ happy family now. No harm done. Think how bad it’d be for him to feel sexually unsatisfied. I see nothing but benefits.

• “At least try to convert”: I’ll keep this relatively open ended: I think there are ways free use can work for couple who didn’t start as free use in any way. It varies from couple to couple but I think men can plant the idea and, I think women want it than you might expect. You know how many women have a rape fantasy? It’s A LOT. Free use isn’t rape, but they are overlapping ideas. The loss authority. Work from things like that. Mention your fantasy is to have her as free use. Explain what it means. Just as a fantasy. Just mention it turns you on. Seed it. I really think men are so ashamed of wanting a women in that way that they dare not mention it. I don’t see it as a big deal. At worst most women will just accept it’s a fantasy and say it’s not for them. If that happens you can work from a lower base. Maybe she just wants tied up? Things a little rougher? Always look for avenues. It could be a process.