It's like a slice of the realistic. A piece of reality in raw poetic form. I read it a few times, and honestly, I think it's great. More poems like this please.

Reading this I immediately thought of similar work from realist poets like Henry James. *Beast in the Jungle* comes to mind -- although yours is not as extended :-) Thanks for sharing your work.

have a hut-hut-haik

*Your grave unmarked*

*A scapegoat for a nation,*

*"I am a patsy!"*

Appreciate the kind words and the edit, it definitely reads better with the changes you've made. Thank you!

I really like this. A typical subject for this forum, wrapped in unusual packaging. A longing for the missed opportunity or the love obsessed over from afar. Also, historical themes in poetry hold a special place in my heart. I may throw some punctuation in, to pause the reader where you would like.

"You never found the girl.

You never got rich.

There's an itch in that hard to reach spot on your back,

and the batteries in the TV remote are dead ‏‏‎. ‏‏‎But somehow,

the thing that saddens you most?

Having to watch this shit documentary

about who really shot JFK."

&#x200B;

Good work either way.

Thank you for the kind words, I'm glad something I wrote could resonate with you in some way :)

The poem is relatively simple, but it is very potent. It makes be feel very specific things and brings back several memories. I appreciate you sharing.


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Love this, frank and deadpan snippet of a frustrating little moment. First stanza is stronger than the second, the structure and meter really work. 

I think for the second one it just needs a bit of tuning up

"And somehow the thing that saddens you most  
Having to watch... "  

this feels a bit awkward and I'd consider working in that missing 'is' somehow, and maybe reshuffle some stuff to make it possible while keeping your rhythm

Other than that, great poem and the kind of thing I'd love to read more of.

**Lee Harvey Oswald**
‎ ‏‏‎ 

 ‏‏‎ 
‎




You never found the girl    
You never got rich    
There's an itch in that hard to reach spot on your back   
And the batteries in the TV remote are dead
     ‏‏‎ 
 ‏‏‎ 

 
 ‏‏‎ 

And somehow  
The thing that saddens you most   
Having to watch this shit documentary  
About who *really* shot JFK

 ‏‏‎ 

[Feedback 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/rnb145/rain_blown/hprfpds/) / [Feedback 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/rmjl0x/aunts_couch_after_a_party/hprh21y/)