Really enjoy the repeating structure of "when, and, then..." followed by the descriptions of animals in nature. The imagery is fantastic so as I read and subsequently arrived at an "and" I very much was excited for the next animal we were to meet and the environment in which they would be found.    
    

**"bulls plod in wet sod"**

Absolutely love the way this rolls off the tongue, it's very satisfying to say aloud. 

Although my favourite line has to be "I crumple up another poem in my throat". Using the verb of "crumpling" in adjacent to something we generally wouldn't associate with crumpling (the throat) is very clever, and despite the fact you would rarely see the throat described in the action of crumpling it somehow feels right, yaknow?

Anyway, wonderful poem. Keep on writing, my friend!

As I read it the imagery effortlessly sprung in my mind - really good job assembling that!  I enjoyed the surprising shift of the last line. "Crumple up" and "in my throat" read a bit out of place for me, as in it felt like too drastic of a change of tone. So if I had to suggest an improvement, I'd find another metaphor that better fits the mood set up by the language in the rest of your piece.

This gave me a children’s story book vibe and I enjoyed it. I don’t know why but “a snow glazed fox” just sounds so cute! I noticed how you juxtaposed the natural cycle imagery with discarding your work, was that purposeful?  I took the meaning that it’s a day to day thing and can relate to that.

Hello Nigel, I love your name, since the way it sounds is rather thrilling isn’t it. I’ve used it for pen-names. That aside, I’d never read any Ted Hughes, so I started to look for this poem. Was it a single poem or a book length poem… I guess a poem in maybe a chapbook form? Idk. Anyway all I found online was an excerpt which is starling in its nature or rather animal themes, and looking at that poem and living in it by having the pictures unfold in my mind was so dazzling. It was like watching paper smolder to ash with a glowing line of subtle fire thinly tracing each and every crinkle of pulp, bewitching. His style is very different from mine, but I think Ted was doing some curious things with his compound-words. 

I want to say thank you for mentioning the turn. It’s something, a rhetorical maneuver, I’ve been thinking about and I’m trying and failing to fully understand it completely. I’m still very early on learning about it’s secret alphabets and trap door articulations. It’s th

Oh that's awesome! I hadn't realised it would be so hard to find, I read it in an anthology I've got lying around.

It took awhile , but I found the poem A Solstice. I decided to share it on r/poetry since others ,in the future, might want to read it in its entirety, and it's not available to read online until now. I was even able to maintain the original formatting. I've since procured the complete works of T.H., but am only flipping through his children's poems at the moment. [A Solstice](https://www.reddit.com/r/Poetry/comments/rrp6ii/a_solstice_by_ted_hughes_poem/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

Holy shit, this one's left me a bit speechless. You have serious talent. I'm getting some Ted Hughes vibes from it. 

Firstly, the entire thing just falls out of the mouth like it was meant to be when I read this out loud, the poem's aural 'shape' is pretty much perfect (I'm not sure about the formatting as the when then line break thing seems a bit off, but that's probably cause I'm a dumbass who doesn't know about cool poem formats).

The imagery is spectacular. The rain blown crows bend a maple's crown 🤌. 

If you haven't already, read Hughes' 'A Solstice' - in this, he throws out one of my favourite lines of all time; 

"A raven dabs a single charcoal toad-croak into the finished picture"

I'm supposed to find something to criticise about this now, but I'm struggling. I guess the idea of a fox finding grapes to nibble threw off my mental image of the UK countryside in winter? Idk, this poem just fucking rocks tbh. 

Oh yeah and I forgot to say that the final line is really what br


Oh, hi there; didn't see you! You've reached r/OCPoetry. This is a workshop site where you can share, read, and talk about eachother's poetry & etc. To post your own poems, you need to give feedback to 2 other writers. If you aren't trying to share, you're encouraged to give feedback, but aren't required. Try to be nice, questioning, and specific. If you can't do that - eat a cabbage and come back later. Try to give feedback to a writer without any feedback. Lastly, read our [feedback guide ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), other writer's comments, or this author’s feedback links. If you still aren't sure whether your comments are useful ‘feedback’, or you have any other questions, send us a modmail!

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When       

a snow glazed fox nibbles cold green grapes        

and      

a stag sprays musk on the rotting bark of oak       

and       

the untrimmed hooves of bulls plod in wet sod       

and        

the rain blown crows bend a maple's crown,      

then     

I crumple up another poem in my throat.


[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/rkp8i6/comment/hpgttjo/?utm\_source=share&amp;amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/rkp8i6/comment/hpgttjo/?utm_source=share&amp;amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;amp;context=3))


[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ri7rm0/comment/hovwpdt/?utm\_source=share&amp;amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ri7rm0/comment/hovwpdt/?utm_source=share&amp;amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;amp;context=3))

Rain Blown