Breaking a Heart

I got chills just from reading. Can't imagine the fountain of emotions within you as you wrote this. Well done)

I like this piece. I like that it stir up emotions and highlights actions and reactions. I just think you went for the rhymes too much it kinda felt like singing

I liked the way the message was relayed at the end of it. It was so well put how you explained doing something was bad but not doing that thing is worse. And you ended it with a contradiction to what you told at the beginning. The thought process is amazing.

To come to the downsides, I kind of felt like you were forcing few words and sentences just for the sake of rhyming. They don't sit that well. Other than that, it was really good

Nice. This took a surprising turn in the end. I was expecting a sad or defeated love poem, this felt like an empowering, devil may care with a cold understanding of how to search for love kinda poem.

Wow, thank you for sharing this. I felt drawn in by this poem. First of all I enjoyed two of your images "Like tearing down your word from a concrete sealed pact." And "When your boots are so clean, and their’s are, too.".

For me those two painted the perfect picture, the first showing me how hard it is to seperate from another heart, because it feels like a pact being broken. And then the second one, showing that two innocent hearts will be broken and that It'll probably will be their first time hurting someone. I liked that we werent told but shown this by the image of the boots.

The message of it being ok to break a heart sometimes also really got me, because I didnt expect the poem to end this way. That was a good turn and I also enjoyed this message, it consoles someone who has to deal with the hardship of breaking someones heart.

One thing that stoped my reading flow a bit was the usage of the word "hard", because they are so close to one another.

Thank you for sharing your poem :)

Keep writing. This has a lot of passion, but you knew that already. Some notes:

- the line "Like tearing down your word from a concrete sealed pact" See how the pairing (really doubling) of "concrete sealed" overextends the rhythm as well as overdoes what you're trying to convey? Also, what does that mean, to [paraphrase] tear down your word from a pact? Isn't making a pact putting your word on the line? I don't know what you're saying here.

- So you're stomping on their heart with clean boots, which is difficult (why? because your boots won't stay clean?), but then they also have clean boots. What does wearing clean boots have to do with stomping on someone's heart? And why boots? --I'm genuinely asking, because I think you could have a possible poem here.

P.S. I would reconsider the use of the word "pang" in this line. A pang is a pain, and you're saying it's worse that a heart ripping into pieces. And like we see in this subs of often a "pang" is kind of archaic. When's the last time your co-worker called in sick saying they were having pangs?

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