[206] horror microfic

Hey team,

Here's a micro fic I'm working on, total first draft.

Link for reading and comments

Looking for feedback on if it works as horror, if it works as a story. Let me know if there are any sentences that throw you out or are hard to parse.

My goal is for this to read smooth with a plain voice.

Granular notes on prose are beloved. Reader reactions beloved. Suggested titles welcome.

crit: 1500ish its not my top shelf stuff, so I'd like to trade the whole 1500 words for these 200

xoxo

its who you know