I lost myself

This piece is really interesting to me and I personally relate to it on many aspects. One is especially when you mention getting ""lost"" in "the void" like.... diving into intrusive thoughts (or that's what it looks like it's hinting at). Kind of like an artist getting lost in true emotions and the emotions you are trying to portray in your art or poem or.... creative outlet of some sort-- these emotions are getting like tangled and confused as what is authentic and real vs what you or your subject may be facing in a mist of a poem or story...... (idk if any of that made sense I'm sort of rambling but...) I like this piece a lot and believe You have a lot of talent with word choice. Continue writing my fellow poet!

I love that there is almost no break between the sentences, like a maze or an endless forest. I feel lost in my mind for a moment reading it. Interesting work :)

I really like it! As another person mentioned, the lack of much punctuation gives a sense of endlessness/journeying/confusion/incoherency. I especially enjoy the ending, with its single rhyme couplet - the addition of “they say” is what makes it, for me. A real sense of disbelief, or following others’ opinions.

I think it might benefit from an edit, as all poems do. Some of the language is a little clunky, and doesn’t maintain the ‘stripped down’ effect which I think you seek. For example:

“In the grave I dug / elegantly sonder.”

I would remove the adverb, changing “elegantly” to a simple “elegant”; you would use commas to make it work i.e “In the grave I dug, / elegant, sonder.” Adverbs are really a stylistic item which I choose usually to avoid.

Another example would be:

“On loop like the playlist I found ‘our’ song in”

A lovely line, but there’s a hanging preposition at the end, which detracts from the sense of the line and doesn’t sound good. Try, instead:

“On loop like the playlist with ‘our’ song”

Also, just a suggestion: the linguistic choice to use “but” to mean “only” (“with only the result that…”) is fairly overused. For example, you might change “With paper clips that would but unfurl” to “With paper clips that would only unfurl”.

There’s some stuff to think about, I suppose. Great job.

I love wondering into the woods. I feel very free and peaceful in nature

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