[1736] Hanuman

Hi,

Link

I flip-flop between loving and loathing my opening chapter, so you could call this either a first draft or the 17th revision. As well as a general critique, please could you answer:

• Voice - Do the characters sound like 3 different people, or an extension of the narrative voice (such as it is)?
• Pacing - Is the back-and-forth between characters distracting, leaving you waiting for plot points?
• Information dumping - Is the worldbuilding organic? Is it too soon to throw in new words and concepts?

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I'd like fairly blind impressions, so I'll only give a brief background. The story is set generations after humans invent FTL travel, but the rest of it is more hard sci-fi (e.g. no artificial gravity). It follows 4 people in different professions as they discover the first alien life more advanced than bacteria, then as they discover they (those specific people) may have been here before.

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Thank in advance.

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Critiques

2379

1983