The little gray room

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Not bad! I wish there was some more emphasis on the vivid possibilities that apparently lie beyond. To really push for that yearning, for the imagined colors, for relief and release - I think that'd really make this stronger. That and get rid of the ending. You work with strong imagery and then wind down to a very tame "then i'll finally be happy." Perhaps instead, describe the joy you could experience sitting in the colorful room, the joy you could earn through the struggle, then come back and compare to the safe but miserable state of the grey room.
I like it, though - it feels like mental illness, like anxiety, like a bad situation. It's a mutable metaphor applicable to just about any struggle, but especially for a better life - color could bring happiness, but a dull, miserable grey room is nonetheless a stable room. Just dial the emotions up a bit more and extrapolate on them through the imagery you have. Good job!

Wow. I personally interpreted this as a commentary on narcissism and manipulative people taking the color out of my life, and the potential that there might be color outside of the room. With the reader wanting to try and "fix" the room. That is a beautiful poem and I love that the rhymes seem to stay confined to the lines themselves, very unique approach!

Great! I take this as fear of leaving our comfort zones, even though they are no longer bringing comfort. It also speaks of a loyalty we have to the past, or at least feel we should have. The use of colors was such a smart choice to express your vision.

Very interesting perspective. I couldn't help by compared this to the Allegory of the Cave. You're in this grey room and you want to wander outside of it to explore the possibility of other colors. I love that you invite the concept of the colors into the room by the end of your piece. It almost just shows the shift in your state of mind or your characters mind as the concept of color shifts from something that you're scared of or fear to something already being there but not readily evident. Good work!

I really liked your poem. It brilliantly captures the feeling of being trapped within a world of "grey" and how depression and these feelings can become like a cage. You also describe the possibilities of the outside world being "full of colors I can't see", which is another great way of describing the feelings associated with being stuck and in that "grey" place.

My suggestions for how to improve this poem (in my opinion), would be that you could probably lose some of the words. Ie simultaneously and just. I would also suggest that you could use more line breaks for emphasis and to break up the poem more. ie a line break after "I do" and "I want it desperately," and the other sentences with commas in them. For me, I like short lines in poems and think they can be used well for effect, but again that is only my opinion. All the best

I never thought I could find a passage of words so accurate & simultaneously comparative to what I've been experiencing for the last eight years. For the longest time I have wanted nothing more than to victoriously escape this self-imposed prison but something just keeps compelling to not venture out & recapture who I once was. I rationalize with myself that there is nothing to sense, to explore, to improve on, to immerse my self in. This gray room sedates me & satiates my every need but doesn't energize me to transcend my ambitions. The generous use of restraint you used gives this an inviting tone that anyone who is experiencing can instantly connect with. This what I've been looking for, at long last.