I actually really like discolored thank you

What about “Again” or “Discolored”

If I could rename it I would “what doesn’t kill you” which is still cliche but would fit a lot better

I can really relate to this. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but in my case it often just makes me weaker.

The title is pretty cliche but the poem itself is good.

Favorite line: ovens get very hot

I really like this poem. I do find myself trying to figure out where to pause on each of these lines. I think some creative use of punctuations to accent where these pauses can help readers read this poem with a stronger sense of rhythm.

love the apparent simplicity of your work. Very calming, zen-like. Feels like some poem from one of my faves, french poets Prevert or Eluard.

Thank you so much I made a little edit to connect the title a little more

The poem is very clean and nice. Clean in a way that the author didn't have to use highfalutin words to grab the reader's attention. However, the title could use a little revision since it kinda doesn't have connection to the poem itself. Maybe the author could re-title the work to something that connects to the body or content of the poem like something about getting burned or making the word "oven" a bit fancier. Nonetheless, it is a very beautiful work. Kudos to the author! Looking forward for more art of yours ;)


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"I burned myself today" really caught my attention. So according to me this has a good start. And the line breaking was simple makes it easier to read. ❤

Thank you I was trying to depict the feeling of disassociation overall, but I was commenting on how things that hurt you usually don’t make you stronger, the stove is actually both literal and figurative, I actually did burn myself yesterday when I posted this, the frustration of continuously burning myself is relatable to a lot of frustrations I have in life

Took me 3 or 4 times to really feel the emotional impact. It hit me all at once. Excellent poem, love it’s simplicity, straight to its point while remaining so vivid. I think you were trying to make a statement on perhaps the idea that for every wound it makes you stronger as well as the idea of a human who had experienced the pain of a hot stove wouldn’t touch it again. It really makes for an interesting concept of how pointless it all is really and how it, whatever the stove represents to someone when applied, just continues to hurt them again and again.

Thank you I am aiming to depict disassociation, maybe I do search for pain to feel something, I’m glad you liked it though

I like the subtle element of feeling and pursuing pain has been portrayed in here. It makes me think that there's a slight want to go through this sentiment over and over again which depicts a set of previous traumas and upsets. Easy to comprehend and not a fancy vocab just adds onto the cherry. I also could engage with slight anger or frustration inside the poem when it said, "All Lies". Well done, keep writing!

Thank you I couldn’t edit the title without deleting it so I followed your advice

Reading this poem I would basically agree with the comments, but I will only say in reading it , I thought the “ discolored “ might well be amended to something along the lines of “… always left/ a rose-colored stamp. “ . That’s a rough suggestion that you could well refine. It would make the title a little less cliché with a connecting metaphor. Good luck.

I really like this poem, sometimes you just gotta touch that oven and let it burn

I like what the end of this is hinting to. It feels like the start of a very morbid little novella. It's very creepy and very interesting... Good work :)

I really like this. I think it flows nicely and feels to read in my head. It has a good shape. I'm finding it harder to find a voice for it out loud, but then this doesn't feel like a speech or a conversation - it feels like a thought that comes up each time.

My only criticism is that I hadn't heard the expression "Burns make you numb", and google could only share that 2nd or 3rd degree burns can deal nerve damage which can make you numb - but if you're burning yourself on the oven top that much then you're a little more than 'rose-colored'.

I think it's simple, pretty and expresses an idea that we all feel - why do we keep doing things that we know not to do, and the fact that we keep doing it is sometimes more painful than the actual consequences.

You’re poem reminds me of the song by Poison of the same name. 

I like how your poem is more clever as the poem progresses. 

Great job.


I burned myself today

Again, 

Ovens get very hot 

I know,

Especially on the top,

Heat rises.

Yet my hand always finds

The top,

And I’m always left

Discolored,

“Burns make you numb”,

All lies. 

It only gets hotter

Every time, 




[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/s3thuf/breakfast/hsn2sdy/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/s0r0mn/sonnet_from_a_bird/hsf5sxh/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

Every Rose has it’s thorn