Escapism

Good work. Very bright start with the first two lines. A little cliché with the thundered with rain part but that's ok. I feel the line drugs and pills, should be different and yet end with the word pills. Drugs and pills sounds repetitive. Perhaps you could describe the pills. In any case, good work. Thanks for sharing.

This poem comes from somewhere we all might have been at some point. The beginning and end are a delight to read. The middle part lacked cadence and meter but it works if that's what you were going for. Overall a good read!

There's an interesting tension present between braving adventure and staying safe. We have someone falling for a boy (or two!) and rushing from pain to thrill, still she or he is also dissolving under her or his blanket and doubting whether existence itself is all in vain.

The vain aspect reminds me of Eccelesiates. "Vanity of vanities, vanity of vanities. All is vanity." The Hebrew word there that is translated as vanity is actually a name as well as a word. The name is Abel, the one who was killed by his brother Cain. He pleased God with his hunter gatherer labor and sacrifice, but was murdered anyway by his agriculturalist brother with his innocent blood seeping into a thirsty nonplussed ground. So what benefit is there to an Adam in his many toils? What benefit is there to Eve in all her labors? If a child will just die because of the sins of an other??

One can choose to try to numb one's self to the unfairness of it all, one can look for material distraction, one can seek power to set ALL things in Creation right (mandating the lions to lay down with the lambs), or one can simply be still and know that the universe is much larger than us Adams and Eves. Besides! Would we know joy without pain? Would we know hope without fear? Would we know the thrill of adventure without the moments when we hide under our blankets imagining castles in vain?

I really liked the "thundered with rain" It's assonance fits with both 'shape' and 'blanket' while also subtly subverting an expected cadence.

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