First Post- I would love some feedback
Contract with the Other side
Grasping, clinging softly onto grass, you pass me slowly counting sheep; I laugh, knowing you'll be gone until the grass has grown, been mowed, overgrown; until infrastructures and civilizations have collapsed. Millenia pass you by blindly as you reside in a dream for lifetimes. All that's changed is the terrain, at times deserts replacing the Shepards and floods the Sheep, but somehow your focus stayed on me. For lifetimes you've spied from the sidelines as you let me pass you by, to your demise, but now all that you desire is to conspire, or at least compromise. -WW
Posted Jan 26, 2022, 6:59 PM UTC
56
I like this and enjoyed your idea of poetry. I'm sure while writing this out, the formatting was different than when you hit "post". But I had to reread again to truly enjoy it. Understanding where your intentional pauses are when the poem is scrambled into one paragraph made it difficult to appreciate during the first read. But I got there! And I love it.
Thankyou, I really appreciate you taking the time to critique my writing, and I'll definitely keep everything you mentioned in mind moving forward!
Anytime. Look forward to reading more!