Just Published My First Poetry Book At 19, Here Is A Poem From My Book!

Is this a self publish, and if so, how easy was the process? I’m curious for my own collection

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I really love the use of imagery and the way you are able to so clearly paint a picture with your words, but I think that there is a level of redundancy present in this piece, making the stanzas seem a bit choppy, you could shorten/revise it a bit or maybe just eliminate some repeating words and it might emphasize the emotions being portrayed more effectively (before publishing). Thanks!

I think this poem captures the feeling of nostalgia and longing for simpler times, but I think it could capture it more vividly if you replaced some of the abstractions like "memories" and "thoughts" with more specific images. For instance "Memories time faded away" isn't something a reader can really picture, but I think if you could show a more concrete example of one of those memories, or extend the metaphor of "fading" a little bit more to make it more vivid. Really get into those highly specific details and paint the picture for us.

I also think you ran into a few cliches, like "They flow like the currents in the ocean" and "bright sunny days" that you could replace with fresher descriptions.

Other than that I liked it and I think you did a great job! Congrats on your book by the way. That's a huge achievement and I'm happy for you :)

Congrats on the book

Congratulations on the book. Two lines above stick out particularly, and fascinate me to re-read:

“Guided still images painted by motion”

And

A child like gaze running careless and free wasting away the bright sunny days”

Those lines are beautiful. The second one reminds me of how wasting time is so precious when we’re young, and somehow we find ourselves trying to spend it all as adults, being productive all the time.

Edit: I just saw your username, as I watch spongebob in bed😂

👏👏👏👏👏

First off, congrats on your published poetry book! Even if it is easy to publish, it must've taken a long time to compile, right?

I really like the imagery in this piece. A lot of the words work well together to paint a vivid picture, which works really well with the message of looking back at your childhood.

guided still images painted by motion.

This one was my favorite line. I like the thought of "painted by motion".

Congratulations

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Wow this is so cool! I love the rhyme and the flow in the text, what is the title of the poem?

I checked out your amazon products aswell! Both your published books seem really well made and I'm considering buying them! I love the covers of both of them, you're talented!

You seem like you could become an accomplished book-writer or novelist, or even just a poet. You're great with your words and to be completely honest with you, I don't think I have any helpful critique due to the amazement. Such well- and thought through words that flow through my mind.

This poem itself is reminding me of a person who's lost someone close to them, or as if they are sad about where they are today compared to how they were as young. It makes me imagine a person who's sitting in a freezing field of grass and no trees or flowers, and it's very late beyond sunset, although light is still visible in the sky. The human sitting in the field is a black figure, and they seem very calm. I love how it made up a picture in my head by only one sentence in.

Good job!! I'd love to see more of your work. :)

First off, I'm a complete stranger to this and you shouldn't really take this seriously but I can't find the flow in this. Rhyme isn't really present and structure is lacking, for instance you could end the sentence at "smile & laugh", "careless and free" and then follow it up with some other sentences. I don't feel much reading this poem and I hope it's me. It's like you're jumping from point to point rather than leading slowly.