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Thanks :) I was trying to write an uplifting poem about death, glad the point came through

This is really beautiful! At first I got the vibe that it would be kind of a somber, glass half empty look at what it’s like to die and be forgotten, but then it becomes a glass half full kind of poem that ends off on, in my mind, a cleverly positive note.

This poem does a great job of portraying the central theme of "legacy". The poem is short but meaningful and understandable, and your consistent rhyming is pleasant to read, for the most part.

There's just a few places where I suggest editing the words a bit so that it fits the poem's rhythm/rhyme better: "I would be forgotten and never known" and "Your memory won't go awry".

I loved reading this, the theme of legacy has been a favorite of mine for a while now. Thank you for sharing!

I absolutely love this poem because I thought it was going to be really dark and dreary, but the end is just so uplifting and hopeful. I think the reason why a lot of us write, even if we don’t realize it, is to leave a piece of us on the earth once we leave. 

The only suggestion I would make is to take out the “that” in the line “so that when my bones have turned to ash.” It just seems a little bit out of place with the rhythm of the poem.

I really liked this, and I get the point of using "awry" to fit the rhyme scheme, but the phrasing felt a bit awkward.

I write this down to leave my mark,
For all that wish to see,
So that when my bones have turned to ash,
Something will remain of me.

I would be forgotten and never known,
When all who knew me were dead,
But that shall never be my fate,
If ever these words are read.

Immortality is within your grasp,
Your memory won’t go awry,
For if you leave a piece behind,
Can you ever truly die?

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/sdio93/forest_of_eden/huczqqf/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)
[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/sddgoz/first_post_i_would_love_some_feedback/hud0467/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

Legacy